Saturday, March 31, 2007


Anne over at The Gods Are Bored has a sad, Daddy-War-God tale to tell (aren’t they all). This one’s about her daughter The Heir and the same high-school hot shot we all went to high school with:

The Heir goes to a posh Blue Ribbon School where you're dirt if you're not smart and good at sports. The Heir's class is dominated by a golden boy I'll call Adonis. Adonis is a multi-sport phenomenon, an accomplished artist, girls swoon over him (Heir excepted), teachers suck up to him, he's in the National Honor Society ... and he made a film for the festival [which the Heir also entered, with her film "Static Bliss"].

Festival hour arrives. Five students are present to view "Static Bliss." But when word gets out that Adonis's film is about to air, a couple dozen "populars" file in to watch the Adonis offering. Which, of course to these adult eyes writing this entry, was nothing more than a self-indulgent, glitzy techno-snobbery, poorly filmed and pretentious.

It didn't help that the asshole teacher introduced Adonis's offering by saying, "Now, here's the one we've all been waiting for. It has proven to be very popular."

So Heir and I are sitting there watching this thing, and the substitute teacher in me starts deconstructing it. How did Adonis get free rein in the school to manipulate empty corridor lights and film in parts of the school that are off limits to students? When The Heir left a textbook at school one weekend the janitors wouldn't even let her in the door to go to her locker. Slurp slurp slurp! Someone's sucking up to Adonis big-time.

Didn't you go to school with one of these perfect pricks?

Anyway, Adonis's film just crushed the poor Heir flat. When it was over, she left the room, rushed out of the school, dashed her VHS with "Static Bliss" on the ground, and tore into the park. I let her go. Sometimes we just need to walk off our anger, don'tcha know?

When I got home myself, though, she was sitting in the living room weeping. Mr. Johnson and I just couldn't get her calmed. It sure didn't help that she was preaching to the choir when she said that no matter how hard some people work on perfecting their visions, their efforts go completely unappreciated by the boobs and morons who populate the globe.

MORE >>>>

Babies, heres’ the good news: We don’t hafta put up with Adonises spilling their goo all over us and our high schools. Adonises are a product of the Daddy-War-God machine, in which everybody’s ranked, and competition smells up the halls like dead fish moldering for many moons or more. When we finally switch from Daddy-War God back to the Great Mother, we’ll be free of the Adonises of the world – I promise.

Here’s why: Healthy mothers love us unconditionally. (It’s probably biological, so they don’t get a whole lot of credit for it). But anyhoo, if we had Mother as our archetypal role model, we’d all love each other unconditionally too, no strings attached. First, we wouldn’t even have contests that only one can win and everyone else has to go cry their eyes out over, cause they lost.

Second, girls and boys would be equal (as they are in the eyes of all healthy moms). Third, all kids’d be equal -- rich or poor, plug-ugly or knock-down gorgeous, in mum’s eyes we’re all knock-out fab.

“Smart and good at sports” won’t make mom love us
more than “dumb with two left feet.”

So let’s hear it for dumping the War Gods and bringing back the Unconditional-Love Goddess!

1 comment:

Anne Johnson said...

I'm on board.

Wait until you see my even more recent post about the bad Big Daddy boys.