Wednesday, September 28, 2005

TOM DELAY Indicted

ARLINGTON, VA (IWR News Parody) - House Majority Leader Tom Delay was arrested today at Kenmore Middle School for allegedly extorting lunch money from students.

The Arlington bunko squad, at first thought "The Hammer" was just some pervert peddling pornography to the kids, but were surprised to discover that the suspect was actually extorting money from the students in return for not cutting funding to their band, cheerleading and football programs.

Mr. Delay protested his arrest claiming that extorting money from citizens, regardless of age, was his God-given right.

"Look. This is no different than what I do all day long in Congress for Christ sakes. You want a bill passed or defeated? It's going cost you something like making a significant contribution to my little Texans for a Republican Majority PAC (TRMPAC) for example. The kids want their Cougar's football, and I need some money to pay for my golf fees when I play President Bush on Sunday. It's quid pro quo I tell you," yelled Delay as he was lead away in a paddy wagon.
Thnx to Echidne of the Snakes for the early heads-up on the DeLay indictment (Echidne, by the way, will give you real leads to the real story). I had vowed to avoid political "reporting" from now on, but couldn't resist this one!


Lisa said...

Oh man, don't DO that to me!! When your page was loading and I saw only: Tom Delay INDICTED, I got SO excited!! What a let down.... :*(

Athana said...

What a pleasant surprise you have waiting for you Lisa!

Anonymous said...

Hi there..

What place, if any, do gender roles have in Goddess relgion and Matriarchy? Or are they a construction of the Patriarchy that will be eliminated once Patriarchy falls??

Athana said...

I think all cultures have, have had, and will have gender roles. The question is, how healthy are they for actual human beings? And how much of a spread is there between one gender role and the next? Are the various genders radically different one from the other, or are there milder distances between them? In matriarchies and Goddess cultures I'd expect high health and lower distances.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for replying!