Sunday, October 22, 2006

LILY-LIVERED, No-spine, FEARFUL Nervous-nellies?

One of the world’s major problems says Jean Shinoda Bolen is that “boys and men are afraid to be like women.”

She goes on to say, “If Mother Archetype, Mother Goddess, Mother Earth... placed a classified ad in the ‘Help Wanted’ section, the attributes needed would apply to most women and some men…. The ad might read:

‘HELP WANTED: Everywoman. Home keepers for Earth. Must keep premises safe for all. Have concern for children’s needs and development, ability to manage resources, resolve conflicts, work collaboratively, ask questions, listen, and learn from the experience of others, be empathic, and act with compassion for the benefit of all, including generations to come.’”

(From Urgent Message from Mother: Gather the Women, Save the World. 2005. Jean Shinoda Bolen, p. 74. This book "… is a message from Mother Earth, Mother Goddess, Mother archetype. The words evoke an intuitive recognition, a wisdom whose time has come….” From Jean Bolen’s website.)
What do you think? Men, are you lily-livered, no-spine, fearful nervous-nellies? I mean we women really need help, here, with Mother Earth! Oh sure. Lotsa you can pop off a gun. But can ya do the tuff stuff – like stand up and be the right kind of person when it’s hard? Women, when it comes to the majority of men, is the gain worth the pain?
__________
thnx again to DawnAllynn for her fotos

5 comments:

Paxton said...

Knowing as I do that a good man is a great thing, I have difficulty seeing why these differences are bad. Hasty, sweeping generalizations follow.

Manage resources -- seemingly a gender-neutral capability, though men and women in general might have different approaches to the task, I imagine each would work reasonably well.

Resolve conflicts -- women resolve conflicts with other women by talking through them. Men resolve conflicts with other men by 1) Not ever getting offended at all because we don't pay attention to those things 2) Dealing with it 3) Grudging respect 4) Humbly admitting wrong or surrendering rights, and deciding friendship is worth the differences (this is the best solution). Men resolve conflicts with women by learning the way women function, and vice versa. Just because one way involves more words, tears and drama doesn't mean it's better ;) But I can tell you this -- men benefit by learning to treat women well.

Work collaboratively -- sometimes good and sometimes bad. There are times and places for group efforts, and for individual efforts. The propensity for either spans the gender gap, though it may likely be concentrated more on the female side. I truly don't know =P

Asking questions and listening are not things that most men do well or naturally. Are women better at it, or do they tend to act on their own convictions as well? I'm asking you because I haven't an inkling and I want to have an inkling =)

Countless men learn from the experience of others...perhaps it's just a modern phenomenon, this disrespect for old wisdom? Probably not. But I am remembering a good many stupid ancient orders of dusty old masters teaching willing students.

Hmm...scattered and presumptuous, but I have had enough of thinking about what I'm saying for today, so that's the best I've got =P

Yay, Paxton is going to play the psychologist today and ask Athana what kind of positive male influences she's had in her life (and what kind of negative ones).



You never answered my last question in Smoking the Dope of God, incidentally. Perhaps you didn't see it, as it dropped off the front page a while ago.

Athana said...

Paxton. You make some good points. I heartily agree that “a good man is a great thing.” Also, in my experience it does seem that many men are often better at “not getting offended” than many women are.

However, men are running our planet. They have NOT kept it safe for all. Children are NOT being taken care of – not by a long shot. Men have NOT managed our resources or resolved the world’s conflicts. I think this is what Bolen’s referring to.

Paxton said...

I agree =\ it's a pretty awful world.

Yet somehow I think that getting men to be like women ain't going to fix it. I've seen what good men can do, and it's amazing. I've seen what good women can do, and it's amazing. But if you take a good man and demand he act like a woman, you sweep his feet out from under him (imo). I think that masculinity is a good trait for good men to have, and femininity is a good trait for good women to have (it is part of growing into your identity instead of being ashamed of it).

Well, in other words, I just don't think it's possible or natural or beneficial to make the world a single gender. You're trying to fix Male Mistakes by turning men into women. You know what you'll end up with? Two servings of Female Mistakes (whatever those might be...hm).

Still curious about the good and bad male influences in your own life. =)

Athana said...

Stop right there! I'm not saying make men JUST like women. How boring would that be? Although, from the lone quote I gave from Bolen, I can see how you might have gotten that impression.

Paxton, I'm not going to talk about the male OR female influences in my life, here. Suffice it to say that, as is the case with most anyone, they've been both positive and negative re: both genders.

Paxton said...

Net influence < 0, I imagine. It's just that you have this idea that the way to redeem corrupted masculinity is to gently replace it with femininity. But that's not true -- men and women are different for a reason.

Now, lots of guys are blustering wimps, full of pettiness and envy and ego and selfishness and general character deficiencies. They don't need to learn to be like women (although there is a lot they could learn *from* honorable women). They need to learn to toss the idiocy and step up and be real men, who'll actually stand for something, and have *compassion* instead of trying to prove to the world and to themselves that they're 1337.