Tuesday, June 14, 2005
FLIES, Swiss Cheese, and paul harvey
I smell Swiss cheese
Oh, I'm SO much better today. The heat was bad yesterday, but I got jolly good laughs from an email cousin Harold sent. I will treat you to a condensed version:
"ATHANA -- I know you don't agree with much of this stuff. I just like to torture you. Paul Harvey says: - 'I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December.... Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts.... "But it's a Christian prayer," some will argue.
"'Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles... [emphasis my own, not Harold's or Harvey's, you'll see why in a minute]. Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights.... The silent majority has been silent too long.... It is time the majority rules! We are fighting back ... and we WILL WIN! God bless us one and all, especially those who denounce Him....'
"Your Cousin, Harold"
To which I replied:
"Oh, Harold! I do smell Swiss cheese! I don't have time to plug all the holes, but ... oh, yes, here's a juicy one: '...the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles....'
"Excuse me for a minute (Ha. Ha, ha, ha, hardy de har har!!! Oh, please, Goddess, let me catch my breath.... Democracy a "Christian" principle?!? Hardy, hardy har, har, har, har, har, har...!)
"Ahem. Aren't the words 'democracy' and 'representative government' spread around the Bible like flies on a Sunday picnic? And I'm just certain the Israelites held national elections to vote all those kings into power.
"Not! Read your history!! We owe American democracy not to Christians, but to PAGANS. Many Native Americans (read: PAGANS) enjoyed permanent democracies, and whites intermarried with them for nearly three centuries before penning the Constitution. Trot over to the library and check out Weatherford's Indian Givers. And Jefferson, Adams, and the boys also studied the PAGAN Greeks, who for brief periods back in the Bee-Cee's, managed to achieve democracy in their city-states.
"Oh, and Harold? Did you know the word "Pagan" means "country folk"? Our country ancestors resisted the raging Christian onslaught longer than our city ancestors did....
"Oh, a good laugh does cleanse the system! Thanks, my good cousin.
"Your Cousin, Athana"
Thnx to Creacult for the photo