Monday, May 14, 2007

CHRISTOphrenia

GOOD NEWS for mental health! An old but previously unidentified mental disorder has been recognized by the world psychiatric community.

Although plaguing humanity for over 2000 years , "ChristoPhrenia" has only recently been entered into the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV).

Suffered by millions over the past two millennia, this psychosis is characterized by the following behaviors:

(1) Sado-masochism. A constant compulsion to have someone doing ugly things to you -- like sticking giant hatpins in you and stepping on your eyeballs (or, conversely, you feel the need to be doing the sticking and stepping on somebody else).

(2) A whopping dose of “authoritarian personality.” Unless you constantly have another person punishing and rewarding you, you wither away and die on the vine.

(3a) An outrageous lack of ego, or …

(3b) … An ego built like a mack truck. Some ChristoPhrenics have so little ego it’s difficult to distinguish them from giant, flapping noodles. Others have so much it’s like watching a human-shaped cement block moving down the street.

(4) Associated physical complaints: Arthritic knees contracted as early as the toddling years; from prostrating oneself to one’s ‘deity,’ to whom one is taught to feel inferior, unworthy, and downright filthy in front of.

Although no known pagan has ever suffered from ChristoPhrenia, almost 99% of Christians possess this psychosis to one degree or another.

So please! Moms and dads: don’t let your kids talk to Christians, let alone play with them. Teach them early how to avoid ChristoPhrenia (via avoidance of all things Christian).

Identifying ChristoPhrenics. To learn more about ChristoPhrenia, go to THE CHRISTIAN DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE website. CAUTION: if you have a weak stomach, hypertension or bad nerves, please consider avoiding this site. It’s full of things like how, when you’ve been bad, to get your husband to paddle you with a kitchen spatula (and since their god Yahweh assures Christians they’re bad 24-7, we’re talking quite a tripout with household kitchen utensils, here).

BTW, thnx to anne at the gods are bored for pointing out the sicko CDC website. And thnx to Brittak for the foto.

3 comments:

sopka said...

I consider myself a misanthropic old Pagan not surprised by much christian fundie frolics but this site I only visited for a moment It shocked..It made me realise the devout little girl who wanted to be a nun is still in me and very horrified by all this I keep thinking "What would my Mother say" or "what would the priest say" It has been years since I have been shocked in my mind to such an infantile state..

Paxton said...

I daresay you misrepresent Mr. Yahweh. =)

Moony said...

I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry or just cover my eyes in horror. I may do all three.