Sunday, November 06, 2005

In Which Athana Gets Born-Again

Did you see it coming, gentle readers -- the day when Athana would join a CHURCH?!? Yes, it’s the Church of Stop Shopping, run by the Right Reverend Billy:

“… Rev. Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping, delivered a rousing sermon denouncing the evils of sweatshops on the steps of [the San Francisco] City Hall before he and his choir marched into the offices of Ross Mirkarimi, Aaron Peskin and Fiona Ma. None of the supervisors was present, but the Rev. Billy blessed their desks, chairs and computers anyway.

"’We are in the office of exalted leader Peskin,’ the reverend told Peskin's stunned staff. ‘He is on vacation in Utah, but we know he will use San Francisco's taxpayer money to do the right thing.’

“New York's the Rev. Billy is a nationally known -- well, in some circles -- performance artist and crusader who travels the country to support local movements against big-box retailers and rampant consumerism.”
Here, in the words of one convert, is what joining the Church of Stop Shopping is all about:

“’Hi. My name is Carol Ann. [Hi Carol Ann.] I'm a recovering shopaholic. I used to shop as a bonding activity with my mother and sister. … Now I'm shopping free. I don't even like the smell of it. I realize that my shopping was only fueling our corporate-owned government. Right on, Rev. Billy. Keep preaching the word. You are one talented brother.’”
“Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Starbucks are frequent sites of the Rev. Billy's sermons.”
Yes, gentle readers, I’ve engaged in so much rage over the death of American democracy (which was shot and killed not long ago by Big Business and replaced by the Corporatocracy – rule by corporation) that I’ve become a victim of rage-aholism. Yes, I admit it -- I’m a raving rage-aholic. I only hope the Rev. Billy can cure me of my illness.

Go HERE to join the Church of Stop Shopping, confess your shopping sins, or subscribe to the Church Bulletin.

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