Thursday, July 27, 2006
Introducing THE GLORIOUS Yaj!
In commenting on today’s second post, eruvande says she’s not sure Yahweh, Allah and Jehovah are really the same god (just for fun, let’s call him “Yaj”). So I’ve chased down a list of the ways these three “different” deities are as alike as peas in a pod:
All three love war.
All three are violently jealous.
All three proudly admit they are violently jealous.
All three will chop your head off if you worship any other god but them.
All three say slavery is fine and dandy.
All three say women are evil and dirty.
All three allow men mistresses and multiple wives.
All three allow male priests only, no women.
All three say sex is dirty.
All three demand adulterers be stoned to death.
All three say human bodies are evil.
All three say pleasure is evil.
All three love hierarchy – men first, animals last.
All three approve of dictatorship only, never democracy.
All three have the same cast of characters in their ‘stories.’
All three solve problems with warfare and violence.
All three are called “Abrahamaic” deities.
All three were born out of the same primitive desert religion.
All three reside in the heavens, out of reach of humans.
All three have long, white beards (well, maybe I should check the sources on this last one….)
And there you have him: the vainglorious, violent, pig-headed, primitive, polygynous, war-loving, woman-hating, slavery-loving, sex-hating, body-hating YAJ!!! Isn’t he just cute as the dickens? Couldn’t you just chuck him under his hairy little chin? Isn’t he just everything you want your kids to become?!?
Be sure to tell me if I've left out any of Yaj's sterling, godly qualities.
And hey all you christians, muslims and jews: I love ya! So get this dude outa your lives, 'cause he's a bum. All he's done is make you fight each other (not to mention the rest of us) for the past 2000 years. Chuck him, my friends, chuck him and give all of us -- and yourselves -- a big, fat break.
thnx to kuzma for the fine fotos of Yaj