“At
that very moment, I heard a voice telling me, ‘Eleanor, go ye forth and tell of
the Lord’s wonders, using pipe cleaners, Popsicle sticks, and enormous Day-Glo
crêpe-paper sunflowers with plastic googly eyes and refrigerator-magnet grins.’
"By the very next day, I had crafted a miniature replica of the Last Supper,
entirely out of those tiny Jet-Puffed marshmallows, empty bottles of mini-bar vodka,
and human hair.
SNIP
“...
the Reverend Lionel Harmwater has led his flock in scrapbooking the entire
Bible by adding doily borders to every page, along with oaktag-framed photos of
bowling pins on which parishioners have enamelled the faces of their patron
saints.
“This
Bible now weighs more than fifty-eight pounds and rests on a reinforced redwood
picnic table in the sacristy.... I love to page through this Bible, to discover
pop-up tinfoil angels holding antiqued parchment banners reading ‘Pray &
Crochet!’ or ‘You Can’t Commit Adultery with a Staple Gun!’”
Read
the rest at The New Yorker, July 21, 2014 issue, “Hobby Lobbyist.”
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