Carolina wants to know what to look for in choosing a Goddess group. This is an excellent question, and if any of you can chime in with ideas, please do. Morgaine’s already weighed in with some very sage advice (see her comments at the end of the Sept. 22 post).
Here are
a few of my ideas on the ideal group (not always possible, but nice to shoot for):
I think it’s helpful if your group has
some foundation in the past. That’s why I like Druidism, Wicca, the Minoan Goddess, Native American spirituality, or the Temple of Isis as bases. This way there’s always the chance that some of the lost wisdom of the past will find its way into your group.
The ideal would be
a group begun by respected community leaders. The founders of my Druid group were active members of the Quaker church who’d worked with groups and social activism over their lifetimes -- and were good at it.
Ideally the entire group would consist of
women who’ve had successful experience working in small groups. We had a counselor in our group trained in conflict resolution and mediation (she was one of the founders). She’s always coming up with solid ways of making group decisions (by taking however much time it takes to make certain everyone in the group has been heard on any and every issue, and by ensuring that the group comes to consensus).
The ideal group has
leaders who are so strong, serious and fearless in their love of Goddess that you can’t help but be the same when you’re around them.
My view is that there should be
no men in the group. Unless you are a very unusual woman and can lend a hand helping men form their own Goddess groups (which they need to do, of course) without any negative fallback onto you yourself, join a women-only group. Personally I feel that most women aren’t capable yet of getting what they need out of a spiritual group with men in it.
At this point most women are too damaged to be in a group with men without wilting or spending energy being consciously or unconsciously angry, aggressive, or passive aggressive.
In the same vein, I think at this point we need to be in
homogeneous groups. If you’re a right-wing Rep, don’t join up with left-wing Dems. If you’re married with children, join a group of marrieds with children. Etcetera. Don’t waste energy trying to do spiritual work with people you don’t understand. I know
this isn’t PC, but let’s worry about understanding and working with differences later on, after we’ve gotten on our feet a little. You’re in this group to find Goddess. You want to use all your energy for that. The one exception: being in a group with wise older women is a good thing. They’ve been around longer. Chances are they know things you don’t. In my experience, they shine like diamonds.
I personally think that
ten to twelve to thirteen people is an ideal group size. Both Christ and the covens knew/know this!
My former group was
begun by a group of four women who’d had a long-term interest in the Goddess, and who’d invested much energy and time in Her. This group traveled to England to study OBOD (the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids) and came back with tons of knowledge, wisdom, and materials. We tweaked the materials here and there to suit our needs. Two of the women built a labyrinth at least ¼ an acre large. Later, at another member’s home, we built a ritual circle out of sand with upright logs as seats, and a fire pit.
I left this group because I couldn’t get along with one member. Although I loved the group, I think this other woman needs it more than I do. I think no matter how wonderful any group is,
there’s always the chance that someone with deep issues is going to enter at some point, or that people are just going to have personality clashes. Ordinarily I would have asked the group to work with me and the woman, but I couldn’t have done that without violating her privacy. So instead, I dropped out quietly, but informed one of the group initiators of the problem I was having. I don’t think the woman I had the problems with is a Goddess honorer, but she is deeply in need of friends and a group that will love and support her. So I’m giving her my group, and I’m going to have to work harder to find a new one.
As some of you may have noticed, however, I’m not even blogging as much as I used to. I’ve been working on a book about the Goddess, and that’s been taking much of my spare time and energy.
If I knew how to find a good Goddess group, I’d be in one today. Let’s see. Hm.
Here’s what you might do, Carolina: tack a notice on the local Quaker and Unitarian Universalist Church bulletin boards. “Looking for women over [age] to start a Goddess Spirituality group.” Add more info about what you want the group to be and do (eight ceremonies a year? Up to ten women? Based on ancient Druid or Wiccan spirituality? Meeting at members' homes?)
Might try that myself.
Good luck and
Goddess Blessings to you, too.
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The pic above is thought by archaeologists to be an ancient Minoan priestess. She was found on the wall outside the doorway of a room on an upper floor in a building at the archaelogical site of Akrotiri on the island of Santorini.
ADDENDUM: I've just discovered that this picture is not the original, but a reworking done by Sage Starwalker, publisher of Matrifocus eZine. [Athana, 10/8/06]