Friday, June 19, 2009


Compared to his dad Jumping Jehovah at least, Jesus plays ball more like a goddess than a god. For example, he says, “Suffer the little children to come unto me” (although you’d be hard pressed to find him doing anything awesome for, to or with any of the kiddies in the Holy Bible).

He says, “Hey! Listen up dudes! I’m really serious about this: Do. Not. Hit. People. Or do anything else mean and janky to them.”

I do, however, think Jesus goes a tad further than any healthy, respectable goddess would go when he says, “Be a doormat. Someone bites you, sit on your big, throbbing need to bite back and offer the back of your other hand to let them sink their teeth into.”

In bigtime contrast, I think the Big-Cheese Guiding Mother Goddesses tell us not to hold out our hands for mutilation, but to teach, educate and reform biters.

The Mothers aren’t keen on having any of their babies bitten once, let alone twice.

And maybe *that’s* why Jesus’ disciples were mostly men! About 90% of all goddesses are heterosexual, and what good het goddess doesn’t adore the company of men?!?

And there, too, is why Jesus never married. His dad would sooner salt and oil gays and fry them up for breakfast as look at ‘em. So of course Jesus the goddess could hardly go around dating men. How would that make Her daddy look to all his carefully trained homophobic Christian buds?
Many thnx to ElenaRay for the picture above. Go HERE for more of her fab work.


AnnaPerenna said...

Heh heh..

If you read the bibbles to see what Jebus did and said, he is very much peculiar. Sure, he taught a lot of things before unheard of in judaic religion (such as love thy neighbour and be poor not rich, turn your cheek and be meek, no anger, no revenge) but funny how often he didn't follow much of it himself. Most of what he does and says shows a partially crazy, lazy, angry bum of sorts :D Food will come itself if you are a saint prophet like Jebus - he steals food and lives of others with his disciples.
Contrary to what most people think, he didn't lift and erase much of the horrible, mosaic laws written by talibanistic Jahwe priests in the desert. He just added his meekness on top, but he constantly respects the mosaic law and loves Jahwe the cruel god. He is especially turned on by the mosaic kiddie law - honour your father and mother or die by stoning! When the other Jews, the clever and sofisticated pharisees, invite him over for FREE dinner, they are puzzled why he didn't wash his fingers. BAM! Meek and soft Jesus goes bananas, calls them names, questions their being and faith and then answers with "do you follow the mosaic law, did you punish your kids today" kind of thing.
Yet, when his mother and brothers come to meet him once, he wants to stay with his new friends instead and says who is my mother? they are my mother (and points to friends). Also he says "leave your mother and family and paid work to come be a bum with crazy me" and once this guy says ok, I will come, but let me bury my recently dead dad first. Jesus says NO, you come now, and let the dead bury their dead.
Some family guy, huh? Then of course is the 2 grotesque wonders, showing his great sense of humor: cursing the fig tree cuz it's outta season when he wants to eat, and cursing demons into 40 pigs so they run into a lake and drown.
Besides weird crap like that he is basically double standards, as he's constantly angry at someone and hates pharisees and other unworthy people. He is not quite the commie hippie type his followers would like him to be either - he doesn't at all have a problem with slavery and he is very exclusive, only his favourite Jews will go to heaven with him (he never even preaches for gentiles, non-Jews). He is very much about being chosen, not equal.

Athana said...

Excellent and very thorough analysis of the real Jesus, AnnaPerenna! I wish everyone could read this. I think Christians have tried to build up Christ in their own minds to BE the Goddess, because they aren't allowed to have a Goddess. As you point out, if you read the Bible Jesus isn't anywhere NEAR the dude that many Christians make him out to be. But Christians are so hungry for goddesses and goddess-like deities that they've made up this fairy-tale Christ who doesn't even really exist in the Bible at all.

AnnaPerenna said...

Why thank you, dear Athana :)

Christians don't know what they are really believing, what they are buying. They don't even make it up, they are all taught by the priests and bishops and popes that Jesus was this impeccable god, sweet and peaceful as a lamb (cute, right?). Basically as you said, Jesus is a goddess of love and peace who loves all people in the world, and christianity is THE one and only religion of DEMOCRACY, love, peace and understanding. (here I won't even begin with all the illogical fallacies that claim dead son is the same god as cruel father bla bla).

But that is all a pretty lie, sold in a gilded box. There is no goddess and barely any love in the actual bible. Jesus is little but a crazy, powerless, delusional and megalomaniac hobo who actually even hates different people and only wants to save a few Jews, not the whole world and not even all Jews.
And then of course one finds out the evangelists constantly quote this book, this old testimony.. hmm, must be a clever and important book then, right? Since the god or human son quotes it himself.. Until you actually open the Old Hater's Handbook and blood and slaves and rape falls out.. ooops!
No wonder the church claimed for hundreds of years it was a sin for people to read the bible on their own.

Medusa said...

I toyed with the idea that Jesus was a kind of stand-in for Goddess thought in oh about the mid-80s when I was writing my first book. I think, as you and Anna have described, there are 2 sides (at least) to the biblical description of Jesus, the peaceful, child-loving person and the angry hellfire and brimstone person. It's possible that the latter was projected and placed on him by later Christians to fit in with the way they wanted to steer the religion. Athana, we don't know that Jesus never married--his description of unmarried is imo likely a misogynist fiction. It was VERY unusual for Jewish men at that time to remain unmarried. I believe either Magdalene was, if not his wife, his close partner--or, if not, as some speculate, Jesus was gay. We have no way of knowing what Jesus was REALLY like, we have only the descriptions in the Bible (and the Nag Hammadi library) which may not present a true picture. But I still think you can make a case for the peaceful,loving Jesus being a stand-in for the Goddess as a time when Goddess worship still existed in the ANE but was, as misogyny rose, finally close to totally suppressed in the Abrahamic religions (and so changed in the Greek and Roman religions as to be as patriarchal as the Abramhic). Here's what I wrote in the "modern myth" called "The Convent" in my book _She Lives! The Return of Our Great Mother_:
During a visitation at a RC convent, Great Mother (appearing here as Mother Mary) says:"He whom you call Jesus is my son. Though the time for me to return had not yet come, I so love the world that I gave my love through my son. I gave birth to him that he might speak my word to the world. But though my word was spoken through him, those who followed him turned to violence and he miscalled himself the son of man...." I also incorporated this idea in another way in the same book in an African American Protestant-oriented story, "Alana Buluku and the Rev. Jones."