Dear Santa SCOTUS,
I could kiss you on your 18 cheeks! Here’s my list (each gift based on my beliefs as a follower of Female Deity):
War – Out, scotch it, nix it, never again, nowhere nohow, nuh-uh, no way. Period. End of sentence. Use the war budget to buy everything else on my list.
Equality – Yes. Get it. Cart it in by the truckload. Everyone gets nice pretty houses, three squares daily, and the same health insurance Davy and Charlie Koch signed up for.
Poor People – No, out of the question, no more, never again. Yank every single person up out of poverty NOW. Pronto.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner – Everyone gets three squares a day, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Got that? And none of this GMO stuff, no junk food. Scotch the preservatives, too.
Jobs – Goddess says we should share them. Therefore, we should all load garbage trucks 1-2 days a year, and all get to prop our feet up on a desk and order people around for 1-2 days, too.
So get cracking, Scotus! You whipped up Mr. Hobby Lobby’s gift almost overnight. Please give me an ETA for when you’ll be dropping down the chimney with mine.
I’ll leave you out some cookies and milk.