Monday, February 15, 2010

& THE 2010 Stupid AWARD GOES TO…


My deepest regrets to all my Texas friends.

But really, dear ones, you might want to spit-polish your politician-picking process. I should be able to drop the following story into the TOO WEIRD TO BE TRUE pot. Unfortunately, since it IS true, it can’t be pitched into the pot:

Here’s the story:

According to the new Texas state education guidelines, pieced together by the wheezing old geezers you Texans fingered for your State Board of Education, Moses was a real, live dude who helped stitch together the U.S. Constitution:

In the new [Texas state education] guidelines, students taking classes in U.S. government are asked to identify … the individuals whose principles of law and government institutions informed the American founding documents,” among whom they include Moses….” MORE>>>>

Last time I checked, Moses was just a Fig Newton of someone’s imagination. And, speaking of Fig Newtons, this same bunch of Texas bobble heads not only want to put Newt Gingrich into your history textbooks – they want to leave Ted Kennedy out:

“… the board considered an amendment to require
students to evaluate the contributions of significant Americans. The names proposed included Thurgood Marshall, Billy Graham, Newt Gingrich, William F. Buckley Jr., Hillary Rodham Clinton and Edward Kennedy. All passed muster except Kennedy, who was voted down….” MORE >>>>

Jeezum ... Newt Gingrich …. Name rings a bell. Wasn’t he kicked outa Congress for being a bad cookie? I sure hope you add his crimes to your textbook bio. And Teddy Kennedy – wasn’t he the “lion of the Senate,” loved by everyone left and right for all the fab legislation he managed to squeeze through the Senate?

(I’d say we need to keep our beady little eyes on Texas like sharp-shinned hawks, so they don’t strip the textbooks clean of John F. Kennedy and Franklin D. Roosevelt -- but I don’t wanna give the dudes any ideas…).

All this wouldn’t be so bad except that U.S. textbook companies follow Texas around like a bunch of sheep. Since Texas Christians pump out babies by the boatload, Texas buys most of the nation’s textbooks. Which means many to most other states feel forced to use the same texts.

Which also means that in the near future your kids could be penning school papers on Moses and Cookie Gingrich -- while remaining stone-cold stupid about Ted Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, and Franklin D. Roosevelt.
thnx to benkuhns for the fab foto; go HERE to see more of his work.


GalvestonLawyer said...

Yes, my state is governed by morons.

Athana said...

I feel for you, GalvestonLawyer. I'd say move to another state, but Texas needs all the help it can get from good people like you.

TX HS Kid said...

"Since Texas Christians pump out babies by the boatload"

Bit of a generalization there, on't you think. My entire family's Chrstian, but I have only one brother and one cousin. Texas Christian does not nessecarily equate to huge families or lack of belief in Birth control (Not all of us are Catholic.)

As for the textbooks themselves, thank goodness I don't have to put up with the standard track, I go the AP track, and since there are only three books approved nationwide by the college board, ours isn't so bad.