Friday, February 27, 2009


We humans come in two fun models: the first can make life (let’s call this model the “Gynes”), the second cannot (let’s just for the heck of it call this model the “Non-gynes”).

And let’s just play a little joke, ok? Let's try to fool people into thinking it’s the type of human who can’t make life -- that actually made all life.

Wowza! In my humble opinion, why things got turned totally upside down and backwards -- those who can’t give birth become the divine birth givers -- is something to be very, very worried about.

But boy did those non-gynes puff and pant to give birth! Here's just a few examples of how they grasped at any straw to explain their (totally physically impossible) feat of giving birth:

Ra from Egypt gave birth from his mouth.

Zeus from Greece gave birth through his head.

Atum from Egypt (Heliopolis) created the first two humans by masturbation and self-fertilization through his mouth.

Kun from China gave birth by “Caesarian section.”

Ymir from Norseland gave birth from his “sweaty armpit."

Loki from Norseland “Gave birth to Odin’s horse after making himself pregnant by eating a woman’s heart.”

Kumarbi of the Hittites became pregnant “by eating his rival’s penis…."

Apollo of Greece gave birth by sitting on eggs.

Jehovah from all over gave birth by waving a magic wand over a rib.
*Sources: Walker 1983; 106-08; Hassan 1998: 107.


Anti-thesisofreason said...

Just a friendly correction for you.

Loki gave birth to Sleipnir after having changed himself into a mare and seducing the stallion Svailfare. Not after having eaten a woman's heart.

It is not uncommon for tricksters to be portrayed as shapeshifters.

Athana said...

Anti-thesis, back in the old days different communities had varying stories about the same deities. Especially if these communities were separated by thousands of miles and thousands of years. My story came from one community and yours from another.