no PIZZA OR PEPSI in SIGHT, O MY!

Whenever Jesus saunters through the front door of a society, all other springtime Gods are forced to exit stage left.

And that’s a crying shame, because those other Gods used to lug back good stuff with them when they died and resurrected.  Gods like Osiris and Adonis, for example, lugged back food – grain, crops, chips, pizzas and diet Pepsis (metaphorically speaking, of course). 

But not Jesus. 

Better yet, come spring, goddesses like Ostara/Oestra/Estra brought chips, pizzas and Pepsis -- but didn't even have to die to do it.  (Goddesses are just so darn good!)

Jesus doesn’t lug back pizzas because a long, long time ago, when their land turned to desert, Jesus and his people gave up on Mother Earth and Her food. 

So all Jesus lugs back from the dead is a ticket.  When you die, you get to use this ticket to float up and sit on clouds, which Jesus says you really want to do ASAP, because what’s down on earth anyway except desert sand and no deep-dish pizza or pepsi anywhere in sight? 
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Thnx to Mohamed Alhwaity for the pic of Saudi snow skiing on the desert.  Go HERE to see it better.