Okay, I might have gone a bit overboard. The Raving Atheist posted this "news" story on his blog, and it just burned my blood: "Supreme Court Split on Display of Two Tits." It was chock to the brim with dim-witted terms for female genitalia.
So I did a parody of the story -- one I "knew" would give Raving a taste of his own medicine. Well, not only was my parody a bit brown around the edges, worse than that no one "got it." So today I tried being a little less rabid and a bit more to-the-point. I'm reprinting my comment here because it's good to remember what The GodFather did to men, women and the female body:
"My point: I'm tired of my genitals being 'stupid people' (boobs), 'mocking cries' (hoots/hooters), and cow udders (tits/teats). I'm tired of men 'fucking' me between the sheets when 'fuck' means mentally ill (fucked up), cheated (fucked over), bad mistake (to fuck up), failure (a fuckup), and bamboozled (fucked).
"Ocmpoma calls his penis 'cock' (king of the barnyard), 'tool' (what we build skyscrapers with), and 'unit.' Hmmmm.
"If I have to have 'boobs' sitting on my chest, I think men should have 'boo-boos' hanging between their legs. Or dodos. 'His dodo grew hard and erect....' Or we could just call them doo's. Or, 'noodle' has a nice ring to it. 'She reached out and patted his noodle, thinking to herself, "Nice doo."
"Interestingly, it's religion -- the thing this blog [The Raving Atheist] battles -- that threw my genitals into the gutter in the first place. Those big state religions, they're awesome political-control mechanisms. Their Masterminds hoodwinked half the human race (men) into serving as unpaid prison guards for the other. Men not only pant to sign up for the job, they refuse to take a penny for it! Which means the Mastermind sits back and props his hush puppies up. He's put one sex in prison, and convinced the other sex to exhaust itself playing unpaid prison guard. I can just see Him: His feet are crossed on the sofa back, and He's sipping champagne between laughing spasms."
What I didn't say is this (the readers of The Raving Atheist are hardly ready for it): the human body, especially the female body, is the body of The Goddess, and, as such, totally and awesomely sacred.
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Thnx to wazaro for the pic of the Mastermind
Or we could just call them doo's. Or, 'noodle' has a nice ring to it. 'She reached out and patted his noodle, thinking to herself, "Nice doo."
ReplyDelete::falls on the floor laughing::
That's fantastic.
I've always hated the word "tits" but I could never quite articulate why, so thanks for doing it for me.
She has spoken, and it is so.
ReplyDelete