Thursday, August 31, 2006

Help FOR GRANNY & SIS

Have a sister, granny, or other raped by the Rapture Righties? Send them this quiz (some of you've already taken it). I just emailed it today to my Rapture-Rightie sister, with special instructions to send it back so I can grade it. I can't wait! I've posted the answers for you below. Thnx to Morgaine at The-Goddess for the inspiration for this; Morgaine's always said to fight scriptural literalists with their own literal scripture.

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WHAT DO YOU REALLY KNOW ABOUT THE BIBLE?

What is the last of the Ten Commandments?Don't steal. Don't covet your neighbor's wife and property. Don't boil a young goat in the milk of its mother. Love your neighbor as yourself.

2. What is the penalty for working on the Sabbath?You will be stoned to death. Neither you nor your offspring to the 5th generation can enter the tabernacle. You should sacrifice two unblemished she goats. You will be disinherited from the kingdom.

3. What is God's name?Jealous. Righteous. Holy. Jehovah.

4. How should parents treat a stubborn and rebellious son?He should be beaten seven times with a whip made of horsehair. He should be stripped and humiliated at the gate of the city. He should be expelled from the family. He should be stoned to death.

5. What happens if you are not a virgin on your wedding night?Your father must pay 100 shekels of silver to your husband. You can never approach the altar. You must dress in black and leave your husband for one year. You will be stoned to death.

6. What does the bible say about witches?Witches should be killed. Witches are people possessed by demons and they are forever damned. Witches can be saved if they are exorcised. Witches are part of the mythology of idolatrous tribes.

7. Which of these foods does the bible expressly permit you to eat? (The others are "abominations.")Pork. Shellfish. Locust. Rabbit.

8. When the Israelites conquered the Midianites, what part of the spoils of war was given to the priest as "the Lord's tribute"?500 sheep. 30,000 asses. 32,000 cows. 32 virgins.

9. What is the origin of the "mighty men" giants known as nephilim?They were the offspring of God's angels and young women. They were the result of an earlier, botched creation. They were monsters from the evil nation of Nephi. They were part of the "blessing of Abraham" that ensured military victory to God's chosen people.

10. What happened to Korah and his family, Israelites who thought they could deal directly with God without a human intermediary?They became priests. They were expelled from the nation of Israel. The earth opened and swallowed them up. They were stripped of all their belongings, houses, and livestock.

11. According to the bible, who created evil?Adam. Eve. God. Satan.

12. According to the bible, what is God not able to do?Save the very worst sinners from hell. Make a rock so huge he can't lift it. Repel chariots of iron. Make people tell lies.

13. According to the bible, where does God live?On a throne in the seventh heaven. In darkness. Above the clouds. On a planet between the sun and the stars.

14. According to biblical biology, what is a bat?A bird. A mammal. An insect. A mythical creature.

15. According to biblical anatomy, where does thinking happen?In the heart. In the brain. In the kidneys. In the lungs.

16. How did Gideon demonstrate his family values?He lived with a young boy named Jether. He and his wife Ophrah had three sons who became spiritual leaders. He fathered 71 sons through his "many wives" and a mistress in Shechem. He remained single, becoming the inspiration for St. Paul.

17. After Jephthah was victorious in battle, what sacrifice did he burn on the altar, as he had vowed to the Lord?Himself. His livestock. Two unspotted lambs. His virgin daughter.

18. What price did David pay King Saul for his first wife?500 cattle. The heads of 100 Philistines. The foreskins of 200 Philistines. The swords, shields and horses of 300 Philistines.
19. How many sexual partners did King Solomon have?One wife and 300 concubines. One wife. (The concubines were servants.) 300 wives. One thousand sexual partners.

20. What happened to 42 little children who teased God's prophet Elisha for being bald and he cursed them in the name of the Lord?They were whipped by their parents. They and their descendants to five generations were forbidden to enter the tabernacle. Two bears came out of the forest and killed them all. They were forced to work seven years for the Levites as child slaves.

21. What reason did God give for tormenting Job?"Job was a sinner. He deserved it." "I didn't torment Job. Satan did it." "Satan dared me, so I destroyed Job for no reason at all." "I wanted to see how far a man would bend before breaking."

22. According to the bible, what does Satan look like?A skinny red man with horns and a pointed tail. A red dragon with 7 heads and 10 horns. A garden snake. An angel in a black robe.

23. How does the biblical god treat haughty women?He makes them barren. He puts scabs on their heads and uncovers their private parts. He takes away their gold and expensive clothing. The Holy Spirit causes them to feel shame for their arrogance.

24. In dollars (shekels), how much is a woman worth?Half a male. The same as a male. Twice as much as a male. Irrelevant. The bible does not put a financial value on human life.

25. What happens if a man rapes an engaged virgin in the city, and no one hears anything?The man should pay her father 100 shekels of silver. The man is stoned to death. The woman is stoned to death. They are both stoned to death.

26. What is the Mosaic Law punishment for being handicapped?You will be stoned to death. You must sacrifice two additional doves on the altar. You are not allowed in church. You must bathe for two months before entering the tabernacle.

27. According to the bible, when may a husband have sex with his wife?As often as he likes. She is his property. Not during her menstrual period. As often as he likes until the first son is born, then by mutual agreement. As often as the wife allows it.

28. How should you feel when you dash babies against the rocks?Happy. Ashamed. It depends if the babies were guilty or innocent. Nothing. It is all in God's hands.

29. How many human generations were there before Jesus?"More numerous than the stars." 144,000. 412. 62.

30. What Christmas tradition is expressly forbidden in the bible?Singing carols house-to-house. Exchanging gifts. Christmas trees. Kissing under the mistletoe.

31. According to Jesus, what must you do to have eternal life?Obey the law and keep all the sacraments. Sell everything you have and give all the money to the poor. Attend church regularly and tithe ten percent of your income to God. Confess your sins and ask Jesus to come into your heart.

32. According to Jesus, how should Christian disciples treat their parents?Parents should be loved, honored and cared for. Parents should be taken care of by the church community. Parents should be hated. Parents should be ignored--"Let the dead bury the dead"--because when you are born again, God becomes your true parent.

33. According to Jesus, how should slaves be treated?They should be beaten daily to keep them in line. They should be beaten for disobedience, but not more severely than they deserve. They should be treated humanely, as members of the family. They should be set free because slavery is wrong.

34. What did Jesus say about peace?"Peace on earth, good will toward men." "Don't think that I came for peace on earth. I came to start wars." "Each person makes their own peace, according to their faith and how they treat others." "There is no peace apart from God."

35. Which one of these phrases did Jesus not say about witnessing?"Thou shalt not bear false witness." "God is my witness." "If I bear witness of myself, it is true." "If I bear witness of myself, it is not true."

36. What personal sacrifice for "the kingdom of heaven" was Jesus talking about when he told his disciples, "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it"?Leave your family. Pluck out your eyes. Become poor. Castrate yourself.

37. According to New Testament medical advice, what should you do if you are sick?Seek medical help from doctors ordained by God. Ask the church elders to apply oil to your skin and pray for you. Ask Jesus or the elders to exorcise the evil spirits from your body. Kneel down before a brass serpent wrapped around a pole.

38. What does Paul prohibit a woman from wearing in church?A hat, or any head covering. Gold. Necklaces, bracelets or anklets. Men's clothing.

39. According to Paul, what is the role of women in the church?Women are equal to men in all respects. Women do the praying, singing and testifying, while men handle the preaching and finances. Women must keep silent. They should learn from their husbands at home. Women are not allowed in church except on high holidays.

40. What does Paul say about marriage?"I wish everyone were single like me." "Celibacy is a pagan practice." "Elders and deacons may have more than one wife." "If your feelings are only sexual, then don't get married."

41. Paul forbids divorce, but Jesus allows it under one circumstance. What is that circumstance?If the husband has sex outside of marriage. If the
wife has sex outside of marriage. If either has sex outside of marriage. If the wife fails to produce a son.

42. What group of people will make it into the heavenly choir?Those who are "poor in spirit." Those who confess their sins and accept Jesus as their savior. God's chosen people, the Jews. 144,000 male virgins who have not been defiled with women.

43. Which one of these words is in the bible?Trinity. Liberal. Christmas. Rapture.

44. Where does the bible say that all men are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights?The laws of Moses. Jesus's Sermon on the Mount. The Book of Revelation. Nowhere.

45. Should Christians allow nonbelievers into their homes?Yes. No.

46. Should Christian men kiss each other?Yes. No.

47. Should Christians always give what they have to anyone who asks for it?Yes. No.

48. Do the Ten Commandments prohibit incest or rape?Yes. No.

49. If you lose a lawsuit, should you pay exactly what the court decides?Yes. No.

50. Can Christians ask their boss for a raise?Yes. No.
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thnx to The Freedom from Religion Foundation for the quiz.

Quiz Answers



Answers To "What Do You ReallyKnow About The Bible?

You scored 9 correct out of 50.
40 - 50: Wow! You know more than a minister, priest, or rabbi!
30 - 39: Congratulations! Better informed than most Americans
20 - 29: Passing Grade
10 - 19: Did you get your bible knowledge from Sunday School?
0 - 9: Don't feel bad. You may be better off not knowing much about the bible.Average score: 15

The letter for the correct answers appears after each question, and the correct answers are shown in boldface blue type. Your wrong answers are shown in red type followed by "<--Wrong answer." Unanswered questions were counted wrong but not indicated. All biblical quotations are from the King James Version (KJV), unless indicated.

1. What is the last of the Ten Commandments?Answer: C Don't steal. <--Wrong answer. Don't covet your neighbor's wife and property. --This is the final commandment as listed in Exodus 20:2-17, the version often used by Protestants and Catholics. However, these are not the "ten commandments." (See below.) Notice the biblical sexism: women are the property of men. Don't boil a young goat in the milk of its mother. --Believe it or not, this prohibition in Exodus 34:26 is the official tenth commandment, from the only set of stone tablets that were called "the ten commandments." There were three sets of commandments: 1) The first time Moses came down from Mount Sinai with commandments, he merely recited a list (Exodus 20:2-17), which is the version most churches today erroneously call the "Ten Commandments," although they were not engraved on stone tablets and not called "the ten commandments." 2) The first set of stone tablets was given to Moses at a subsequent trip up the mountain (Exodus 31:18). In this farcical story, Moses petulantly destroyed those tablets when he saw the people worshipping the golden calf (Exodus 32:19). 3) So he went back for a replacement. God told Moses: "Hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first: and I will write upon these tables the words that were in the first tables, which thou brakest." (Exodus 34:1) Here is what was on the replacement tablets (from Exodus 34:14-26): 1) Thou shalt worship no other God. 2) Thou shalt make thee no molten gods. 3) The feast of unleavened bread shalt thou keep. 4) Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest. 5) Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks. 6) Thrice in the year shall all your menchildren appear before the Lord God. 7) Thou shalt not offer the blood of my sacrifice with leaven. 8) Neither shall the sacrifice of the feast of the passover be left until the morning. 9) The first of the firstfruits of thy land shalt thou bring unto the house of the Lord thy God. 10) Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk. Keep this in mind next time you are tempted to boil a goat. This list differs, obviously, from the one in Exodus 20 (was God's memory faulty?), but it is only this list that is called the "Ten Commandments": "And he wrote upon the tables the words of the covenant, the ten commandments." (Exodus 34:28) Love your neighbor as yourself. --Even Jesus was unclear about the exact set of commandments. In Matthew 19:18-19 he listed them as: 1) Thou shalt do no murder 2) Thou shalt not commit adultery 3) Thou shalt not steal 4) Thou shalt not bear false witness 5) Honour thy father and thy mother 6) Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. For the Jews, loving your "neighbor" meant loving your Jewish neighbors: it did not mean loving the neighboring tribes or other outsiders, as the intolerant and bloody Old Testament (and Christian) history proves.

2. What is the penalty for working on the Sabbath?Answer: A You will be stoned to death. --Isn't this an excessively violent punishment from a supposedly "Good Book?" What is the harm in working on the Sabbath? It seems the only harm is to the ego of the Sovereign, who demands respect with no respect to human needs. "Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the Lord: whoseoever doeth work therein shall be put to death. Ye shall kindle no fire throughout your habitations upon the sabbath day." (Exodus 35:2) For the chilling application of this law, see Numbers 15:32-36, where a man who picked up sticks on the sabbath was stoned, "and he died; as the Lord commanded Moses." Neither you nor your offspring to the 5th generation can enter the tabernacle. You should sacrifice two unblemished she goats. You will be disinherited from the kingdom. <--Wrong answer.

3. What is God's name?Answer: A Jealous. --This is a petty self-described insecurity from a supposedly all-wise leader. "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." (Exodus 34:14) Righteous. Holy. --Sometimes the name of God is described as "holy" (see Psalm 99:3), but the name itself is not "Holy." In Isaiah 29:23, the name of God is given as "The Holy One of Jacob." Jehovah. <--Wrong answer. --The name "Jehovah" is a Christian mistake. It was forbidden to pronounce the name "YHWH" (Yahweh), and readers of the Hebrew scriptures were supposed to say "Adonai" in its place. "In written texts the vowels of Adonai were combined with the consonants YHWH to remind readers to pronounce Adonai instead of Yahweh. The incorrect hybrid, 'Jehovah,' arose from Christian misunderstanding in the late Middle Ages."(Harper's Bible Dictionary)

4. How should parents treat a stubborn and rebellious son?Answer: D He should be beaten seven times with a whip made of horsehair. <--Wrong answer. He should be stripped and humiliated at the gate of the city. He should be expelled from the family. He should be stoned to death. --This cruelly excessive Mosaic law was actually enforced at one time by the Massachusetts colony and has been used to justify child abuse and murder. "If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them; Then shall his father and mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." (Deuteronomy 21:18-21) "And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death." (Exodus 21:17) "For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he that cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him." (Leviticus 20:9)

5. What happens if you are not a virgin on your wedding night?Answer: D Your father must pay 100 shekels of silver to your husband. <--Wrong answer. You can never approach the altar. You must dress in black and leave your husband for one year. You will be stoned to death. --This barbaric punishment is still being followed in some parts of the Moslem world, which share some of the teachings of the Hebrew bible. There is no such penalty, needless to say, for a groom who is not a virgin. The fact that Christian women who have engaged in premarital sex are not being stoned to death today shows that even believers recognize cruelty and absurdity in their own "Good Book." "If any man take a wife, and go in unto her . . . and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid . . . and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die . . ." (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

6. What does the bible say about witches?Answer: A Witches should be killed. --Tragically, tens of thousands, if not millions, of innocent women in Europe and the American colonies were cruelly accused, tortured and executed because of one single bible verse: "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." (Exodus 22:18) "A man or a woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:27) Witches are people possessed by demons and they are forever damned. Witches can be saved if they are exorcised. Witches are part of the mythology of idolatrous tribes.

7. Which of these foods does the bible expressly permit you to eat? (The others are "abominations.")Answer: C Pork. <--Wrong answer. --"And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you." (Leviticus 11:7) Shellfish. --"And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you . . . ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcasses in abomination." (Leviticus 11:10-11) Locusts. --Since ham and lobster are verboten to bible believers, how about some barbecued grasshopper or steamed locust for dinner? "Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind." (Leviticus 11:22) "And the same John [the Baptist] had his raiment of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey." (Matthew 3:4) Rabbit. --"And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you. And the hare . . . he is unclean unto you." (Leviticus 11:5-6) Notice that the biblical writers erroneously thought rabbits chew the cud.

8. When the Israelites conquered the Midianites, what part of the spoils of war was given to the priest as "the Lord's tribute"?Answer: D 50 sheep. <--Wrong answer. --It was actually 675 of the 675,000 sheep. (See Numbers 31:37) 30,000 asses. --It was actually 61 of the 61,000 asses. (See Numbers 31:39) 32,000 cows. --It was actually 72 of the 72,000 beeves. (See Numbers 31:38) 32 virgins. --Of the 32,000 virgins that were kept alive as "booty" for God's warriors, 32 young captives were handed to the priest. The bible brutally sanctifies war crimes against girls and women that continue to this day. Who could possibly respect a dictator who behaves like this? "And the booty, being the rest of the prey which the men of war had caught, was 675,000 sheep, And 72,000 beeves, And 61,000 asses, And 32,000 persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him . . . of which the Lord's tribute was 32 persons. And Moses gave the tribute, which was the Lord's heave offering, unto Eleazar the priest, as the Lord commanded Moses." (Numbers 31:32-41) the "mighty men" giants known as nephilim?Answer: A They were the offspring of God's angels and young women. --Can't God maintain better control over his libidinous troops? This is scandal in high places. "And it came to pass . . . That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose. . . . There were giants [nephilim] in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came into the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown." (Genesis 6:1-4) This is obviously mythical. The "sons of God" were angels: "the expression clearly refers to divine beings." (Harper's Bible Dictionary) The word nephilim "could mean 'fallen ones' and allude to stories in related cultures of rebellious giants defeated by the gods in olden times (cf. Isa. 14:12)." (Harper's) Some suggest this is why Paul admonished Christian women to keep their heads covered in church, so as not to sexually tempt the angels: "For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels." (I Corinthians 11:10) They were the result of an earlier, botched creation. They were monsters from the evil nation of Nephi. They were part of the "blessing of Abraham" that ensured military victory to God's chosen people.

10. What happened to Korah and his family, Israelites who thought they could talk directly with God without a human intermediary?Answer: C
They became priests. <--Wrong answer. They were expelled from the nation of Israel. The earth opened and swallowed them up. --See Numbers 16:1-50 for the whole story, in context, of God killing 15,000 of his own people for daring to question the authority of Moses: "And the Lord spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying, Separate yourselves from among this congregation, that I may consume them in a moment . . ." (Numbers 16:20-21) ". . . And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that was under them: And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods. They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation . . . and there came out a fire from the Lord, and consumed the two hundred and fifty men that offered incense. . . ." (Numbers 16:31-35) But it gets worse! Some who thought this was pretty harsh treatment were killed by a plague: "But on the morrow all the congregation of the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron, saying, Ye have killed the people of the Lord. . . . And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Get you up from among this congregation, that I may consume them as in a moment. And they fell upon their faces . . . for there is wrath gone out from the Lord; the plague is begun. . . . Now they that died in the plague were fourteen thousand and seven hundred, beside them that died about the matter of Korah." (Numbers 16:41-49) Is this kind of leadership worthy of admiration? For documentation of numerous mass murders commanded, condoned, and committed by the god of the bible, see the reading list at the end of this quiz. They were stripped of all their belongings, houses, and livestock. 11. According to the bible, who created evil?Answer: C
Adam. <--Wrong answer. Eve. God. --Now we know who is to blame. "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things." (Isaiah 45:7) The word "create" above is bara, the same word used in Genesis 1:1. The word "evil" is ra, such as in Genesis 2:9, "the tree of knowledge of good and evil." Some versions, such as the NIV, have unjustifiably softened the implications of this verse by translating ra as "disaster" or "calamity," although ra is used repeatedly throughout scripture to refer to moral evil. (See Isaiah 7:14-15: "Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. Butter and honey shall he eat, that he may know to refuse the evil [ra], and choose the good.") But even if the "disaster" interpretation were allowable, the verse still depicts God as a troublemaker. Satan.

12. According to the bible, what is God not able to do?Answer: C
Save the very worst sinners from hell. <--Wrong answer. Make a rock so huge he can't lift it. Repel chariots of iron. So much for omnipotence. "And the Lord was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." (Judges 1:19) Make people tell lies. --"Now therefore, behold, the Lord hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all these thy prophets, and the Lord hath spoken evil concerning thee." (I Kings 22:23) "And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie." (II Thessalonians 2:11)

13. According to the bible, where does God live?Answer: B
On a throne in the seventh heaven. <--Wrong answer. In darkness. --How can the "God of light" live in darkness? "Then spake Solomon, the Lord said that he would dwell in the thick darkness." (I Kings 8:12. Repeated in II Chronicles 6:1) "And he made darkness pavilions round about him, dark waters, and thick clouds of the skies." (II Samuel 22:12) "He made darkness his secret place; his pavilion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies." (Psalm 18:11) "The Lord reigneth; let the earth rejoice . . . clouds and darkness are round about him." (Psalm 97:1-2) This contradicts I John 1:5: "God is light, and in him is no darkness at all . . . If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another." Above the clouds. On a planet between the sun and the stars. --The Mormon religion, in fact, considers God to be a natural being living on a planet.

14. According to biblical biology, what is a bat?Answer: A
A bird. --Biblical biology rates an 'F.' Bats are mammals, not birds. This is another good reason to keep bibles out of science classes.
"And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray, And the vulture . . . And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat." (Leviticus 11:13-19, where "fowl" is oph. Repeated in Deuteronomy 14:11-20, calling the same list "birds" [tsippor] and "fowls" [oph])
A mammal. --The biblical writers did not understand the classification of animals, and the concept of "mammal" is absent from their writings. The bible was clearly not inspired by an all-knowing god.
An insect.
A mythical creature.
15. According to biblical anatomy, where does thinking happen?Answer: A
In the heart. --Biblical anatomy also rates an 'F.' The heart is an organ that pumps blood--it does not process thoughts, although the biblical writers erroneously thought it did. The word "brain" appears nowhere in the bible.
"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually." (Genesis 6:5) "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7) "And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a child, and set him by him." (Luke 9:47) "For the word of God is quick, and powerful . . . and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12) See also Deuteronomy 15:9, Judges 5:15, I Chronicles 29:18, Esther 6:6, Job 17:11, Psalm 10:6, Psalm 33:11, Jeremiah 23:20, Isaiah 10:7, Daniel 2:30, Acts 8:22.
The word "heart" in the bible was not used in the modern sense of "emotion" because it is depicted as having thoughts, intentions, and imaginations. The emotions were usually considered to be in the kidneys (see below).
In the brain. --Tellingly, the word "brain" appears nowhere in the Bible. The bible was clearly not inspired by an all-knowing god.
In the kidneys. --In biblical times, the kidneys ("reins") were the seat of the emotions. "Reins" was used roughly then as "heart" is sometimes used today: "Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins." (Psalm 73:21) "Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things. Let not my heart envy sinners." (Proverbs 23:16-17) "I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways." (Jeremiah 17:10) "All the churches will know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts." (Revelation 2:23)
In the lungs.
16. How did Gideon demonstrate his family values?Answer: C
He lived with a young boy named Jether. <--Wrong answer. He and his wife Ophrah had three sons who became spiritual leaders. He fathered 71 sons through many wives plus a mistress in Shechem. --So much for monogamy and fidelity. Is this how the hotel-bible Gideon Society expects us to demonstrate family values? "And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives. And his concubine that was in Shechem, she also bare him a son, whose name he called Abimelech." (Judges 8:30-31) Did Gideon not have any daughters? Perhaps daughters were just too insignificant to mention. He remained single, becoming the inspiration for St. Paul. 17. After Jephthah was victorious in battle, what sacrifice did he burn on the altar, as he had vowed to the Lord?Answer: D
Himself. <--Wrong answer. His livestock. Two unspotted lambs. His virgin daughter. --Another example of family values from the "Good Book." Jephthah's nameless daughter is burned as a sacrifice in order to appease the wrath and flatter the vanity of God, who tacitly accepts and never denounces this horrible practice. "And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering. . . . And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; . . . And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed." (Judges 11:30-39) The bible sanctions child sacrifice here. Notice how everyone assumed the correctness of Jephthah's actions: there is no denunciation of this pointless murder from God, or from anyone in Jephthah's community, or from the biblical writers. It was the right thing to do. The ultimate child sacrifice, of course, is the story of Jesus being put to death to appease the wrath of his offended father. Ruth Green, author of The Born Again Skeptic's Guide to the Bible, puts it this way: "If the concept of a father who plots to have his own son put to death is presented to children as beautiful and worthy of society's admiration, what types of human behavior can be presented to them as reprehensible?" The biblical god often requested and accepted human sacrifice: "And he [God] said [to Abraham], Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of." (Genesis 22:2) "For thou shalt not delay to offer the first of thy ripe fruits, and of thy liquors; the firstborn of thy sons shalt thou give unto me." (Exodus 22:29) "But the king [David] took the two sons of Rizpah . . . and the five sons of Michal . . . and he delivered them into the hands of the Gibeonites, and they hanged them in the hill before the Lord: and they fell all seven together, and were put to death in the days of harvest . . . And after that God was intreated for the land." (II Samuel 21:8-14) "We are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ . . . But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of God." (Hebrews 10:10-12) 18. What price did David pay King Saul for his first wife?Answer: C
500 cattle. <--Wrong answer. The heads of 100 Philistines. The foreskins of 200 Philistines. --David is supposed to be a biblical role model; but how does massacre and mutilation show moral leadership? What would Saul want with 200 foreskins? Possibly proof that his new son-in-law was a truly macho man for his daughter. (More likely, this reflects the pagan practice of offering foreskins as a rain/fertility ritual.) "Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife." (I Samuel 18:27) The swords, shields and horses of 300 Philistines. 19. How many regular sexual partners did King Solomon have?Answer: D
One wife and 300 concubines. <--Wrong answer. One wife. (The concubines were servants.) 300 wives. One thousand sexual partners. --At least one thousand. Another fine example of family values from one of God's favorites. "But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites . . . And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines." (I Kings 11:1-3) Notice that this lifestyle is never denounced by God, Jesus, or the biblical writers. Solomon, supposedly an ancestor of Jesus, was praised by Jesus: "all his glory" (Matthew 6:29), "wisdom of Solomon" (Matthew 12:42). Jesus compared himself (not so humbly) to Solomon's greatness: "a greater than Solomon is here." (Luke 11:31) 20. What happened to 42 little children who teased God's prophet Elisha for being bald and he cursed them in the name of the Lord?Answer: C
They were whipped by their parents. <--Wrong answer. They and their descendants to five generations were forbidden to enter the tabernacle. Two bears came out of the forest and killed them all. --Note that this bloody execution for a childish prank is the work of the God of the bible. Is a person like this worthy of worship? Is this "pro-life"? "And he [Elisha] went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them." (II Kings 2:23-24) They were forced to work seven years for the Levites, as child slaves. 21. What reason did God give for tormenting Job?Answer: C
"Job was a sinner. He deserved it." <--Wrong answer. --Job was not a sinner: "There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was perfect and upright, and one that feared God, and eschewed evil." (Job 1:1) "And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil?" (Job 1:8) "In all this Job sinned not." (Job 1:22) "I didn't torment Job. Satan did it." "Satan dared me, so I destroyed Job for no reason at all." --This is a damning confession. In a court of law, this would be enough to convict God of the highest reckless crimes against humanity. In addition to ruining Job's livelihood and inflicting him with a debilitating illness, God murdered his 10 children and his servants--"without cause." "And the Lord said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause." (Job 2:3) "I wanted to see how far a man would bend before breaking." 22. According to the bible, what does Satan look like?Answer: B
A skinny red man with horns and a pointed tail. <--Wrong answer. A red dragon with 7 heads and 10 horns. --Are there still adults in the 21st century who believe in the existence of Satan? If they do, they are forced to picture him as a mythical 7-headed dragon, the only physical description of Satan given in the bible: "And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth . . . And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him." (Revelation 12:3-9) A garden snake. --The talking serpent that tempted Eve in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:1-16) is not identified as "Satan" in the Old Testament, nor does Paul make such a connection (II Corinthians 11:3). Talking animals, by the way, are the stuff of fables (see fable in the dictionary). See documentation at the end for a deeper analysis. An angel in a black robe. 23. How does the biblical god treat haughty women?Answer: B
He makes them barren. <--Wrong answer. He puts scabs on their heads and uncovers their private parts. --This is sexual harassment and molestation. "Secret parts" (below) is poth, which means "hinged opening" (vagina). This is just one of many biblical instances in which women are debased, immorally or cavalierly treated as male property, subject to purchase, sale, abduction, and even sexual assault. No wonder the biblical writers never disapprove of such crimes when they are committed by God himself. How can anyone possibly pretend to love a god who would say such a thing? "Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover [lay bare-ASV] their secret parts." (Isaiah 3:16-17) He takes away their gold and expensive clothing. The Holy Spirit causes them to feel shame for their arrogance. 24. In dollars (shekels), how much is a woman worth?Answer: A
Half a male. --Modern sexism and inequality have their roots in the Bible. Depending on age, a female is worth approximately half as much as a male:
"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, When a man shall make a singular vow, the persons shall be for the Lord by thy estimation. And thy estimation shall be of the male from twenty years old even unto sixty years old, even thy estimation shall be fifty shekels of silver, after the shekel of the sanctuary. And if it be a female,then thy estimation shall be thirty shekels. And if it be from five years old even unto twenty years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male twenty shekels, and for the female ten shekels. And if it be from a month old even unto five years old, then thy estimation shall be of the male five shekels of silver, and for the female thy estimation shall be three shekels of silver. And if it be from sixty years old and above; if it be a male, then thy estimation shall be fifteen shekels, and for the female ten shekels." (Leviticus 27:1-7)
This devaluation of women is reflected in the "double uncleanness" of giving birth to a daughter:
"And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. . . . But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks . . ." (Leviticus 12:1-5)
More documentation of the bible's treatment of women at the end of this quiz.
The same as a male.
Twice as much as a male.
Irrelevant. The Bible does not put a dollar value on human life.
25. What happens if a man rapes an engaged virgin in the city, and no one hears anything?Answer: D
The man should pay her father 100 shekels of silver. <--Wrong answer. The man is stoned to death. The woman is stoned to death. They are both stoned to death. --What if she was gagged, or had laryngitis, or the neighbors were out of town? Is it fair to punish the victim of a crime, much less mete out the death penalty to a victim of violence?! The bible primitively and unfairly frames rape as a crime committed by a man against another man's property. "If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of the city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you." (Deuteronomy 22:23-24) And if the woman is not engaged, she is forced to marry her rapist! The rapist simply pays a fine: "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:28-29) 26. What is the Mosaic Law punishment for being handicapped?Answer: C
You will be stoned to death. <--Wrong answer. You must sacrifice two additional doves on the altar. You are not allowed in church. --This is an ancient, unenlightened view, treating the disabled as inferior people. Shouldn't an all-loving God be bigger than this? "And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. . . . a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous. Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbacked, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken; No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire . . . he shall not go in unto the vail, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not my sanctuaries: for I the Lord do sanctify them." (Leviticus 21:16-23) You must bathe for two months before entering the tabernacle. 27. According to the Bible, when may a husband have sex with his wife?Answer: B
As often as he likes. She is his property. <--Wrong answer. Not during her menstrual period. --Another example of biblical sexism: women are "unclean." This is also an example of disproportionate punishment, as being "cut off" from the tribe for this "crime" (see below) was likely a death sentence in a nomadic culture. "And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days . . . and if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers [impurity] be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean." (Leviticus 15:19-24) "And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among the people." (Leviticus 20:18) As often as he likes until the first son is born, then by mutual agreement. As often as the wife allows it. 28. How should you feel when you dash babies against the rocks?Answer: A
Happy. -- Is this "pro-life"? This is one of numerous examples of god-ordained genocide. Even if you coldly feel there is justice in killing the innocent infants of people deemed "evil" by your religion, would you be happy to do it, as the bible declares? If this is not evil, then what is?
"O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us. Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." (Psalm 137:8-9)
Ashamed.
It depends if the babies were guilty or innocent.
Nothing. It is all in God's hands.
29. How many human generations were there before Jesus?Answer: D
"More numerous than the stars." <--Wrong answer. 144,000. 412. 62. --The bible got it wrong by two orders of magnitude. History and archaeology prove that there were more than a mere 62 generations before Christianity. The species Homo sapiens has existed for 100,000 - 200,000 years, which would be at least 5,000 generations. Luke 3:34-38 lists 20 generations between Adam and Abraham: Abraham, Thara, Nachor, Saruch, Ragau, Phalec, Heber, Sala, Cainan, Arphaxad, Sem, Noe, Lamech, Mathusala, Enoch, Jared, Maleleel, Cainan, Enos, Seth, Adam. Then Matthew 1:17 gives 42 generations between Abraham and Jesus: "So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations." Matthew and Luke also contradict each other: both genealogies claim to go through Joseph, the father of Jesus (Matthew 1:16; Luke 3:23. Why Joseph? Wasn't God the father?), yet their lists disagree in length and in names--except for Shealtiel and Zerubbabel, an intersection that proves they were not intended to be separate lines. They also contradict the Old Testament genealogies, conveniently deleting and adding in order to make the numbers fit a pattern. 30. What Christmas tradition is expressly forbidden in the bible?Answer: C
Singing carols house-to-house. <--Wrong answer. Exchanging gifts. Christmas trees. --Many other Christmas traditions have their roots in pagan practices, such as the holly wreath, a fertility symbol. Even the date of Christmas, near the winter solstice, is linked to sun worship. Modern Christians have stolen Christmas from the pagans. "Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. . . . They are altogether brutish and foolish." (Jeremiah 10:2-8) Kissing under the mistletoe. 31. According to Jesus, what must you do to have eternal life?Answer: B
Obey the law and keep all the sacraments. <--Wrong answer. Sell everything you have and give all the money to the poor. --Heaven will be very empty, it seems. How many Christians take seriously this direct command of Jesus? "And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? . . . Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor; and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me." (Matthew 19:16-21. See also Luke 12:33) Attend church regularly and tithe ten percent of your income to God. --Christian tithing is difficult to support biblically. In Old Testament times, when church and government were united, the tithe was the state tax, often used to support the non-working Levites (priests). But there is no consistent explanation of tithing in Hebrew scripture or in other nations. Babylonians used the tithe as a secular tax for royal purposes. In America, where state and church are separated, Christians should not tithe--unless they want to be doubly taxed! There is nothing in the New Testament to support tithing. Jesus mocked the scribes and Pharisees who tithed (Matthew 23:23). The writer of Hebrews affirmed that the tithe was to be paid to the Levites, admitting that times are different now: "For the priesthood being changed, there is made of necessity a change also of the law." (Hebrews 7:5,12) Confess your sins and ask Jesus to come into your heart. 32. According to Jesus, how should Christian disciples treat their parents?Answer: C
Parents should be loved, honored and cared for. <--Wrong answer. Parents should be taken care of by the church community. Parents should be hated. --More family values from the "Good Book." "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26) The word "hate" here is miseo, the Greek word for "hate," from which we get the prefix in "misanthropy" and "misogyny." The same writer uses miseo in such verses as: "Blessed are ye when men shall hate you." (Luke 6:22) The concept of devaluing your family is reflected by Matthew: "And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:37-38) Why not love your family first? This sounds like something an uneasy dictator would say. Parents should be ignored--"Let the dead bury the dead"--because when you are born again, God becomes your true parent. 33. According to Jesus, how should slaves be treated?Answer: B
They should be beaten daily to keep them in line. <--Wrong answer. They should be beaten for disobedience, but not more severely then they deserve. --Jesus never denounced slavery: he endorsed it! He incorporated it into his teachings as if it were the most natural order (which it was for the biblical writers who didn't know any better). Why doesn't the bible--supposedly inspired by an all-loving deity--ever hint that there is something wrong with such a brutal social institution? If it were not for the influence of the bible (see answer 'd' below), the appalling American slave trade might have been curtailed, along with the bloody Civil War. "And that servant, which knew his lord's will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes." (Luke 12:47-48) The entire context (Luke 12:41-48) shows that this is not part of a parable--it is the explanation of a parable, after Peter asked a question. But even if it were a parable, it would carry the same weight as a teaching of Jesus. The word "servant" above is doulos, which means "slave" in Greek, and is correctly rendered "slave" by the NRSV, NAS, Scholar's Version, and others. "Shall" meant "should," as Jesus adds: "For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required." (Luke 12:48) They should be treated humanely, as members of the family. --Paul did urge Philemon to treat his slave Onesimus as a brother (Philemon 15-16), but he was not speaking for Jesus, and Onesimus was a special case, a personal friend. Paul never denounced slavery. They should be set free because slavery is wrong. --The Bible nowhere states that slavery is wrong. Slavery is ordained by the Bible: "Moreover of the children of the strangers that do sojourn among you, of them shall ye buy, . . . and they shall be your possession . . . they shall be your bondmen forever." (Leviticus 25:45-46) "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do." (Exodus 21:2,7) "Servants [slaves], obey in all things your masters." (Colossians 3:22) 34. What did Jesus say about peace?Answer: B
"Peace on earth, good will toward men." <--Wrong answer. --This Christmas message from Luke 2:14 contradicts Jesus himself. "Don't think that I came for peace on earth. I came to start wars." --Are these the words of a good man? "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." (Matthew 10:34) "I am come to send fire on the earth; and what will I, if it be already kindled? But I have a baptism to be baptized with; and how am I straitened till it be accomplished! Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division." (Luke 12:49-51) These words, by the way, come immediately after Jesus talked about beating slaves. (See Question 33) "Each person makes their own peace, according to their faith and how they treat others." "There is no peace apart from God." --Paul sometimes wrote about peace (see Romans 15:33), but this also contradicts Jesus. 35. Which one of these phrases did Jesus not say about witnessing?Answer: B
"Thou shalt not bear false witness." <--Wrong answer. (Matthew 19:18) "God is my witness." --Paul wrote: "For God is my witness, whom I serve with my spirit in the gospel of his Son." (Romans 1:9) Notice that Jesus contradicts himself below. "If I bear witness of myself, it is true." --"Jesus answered and said unto them, though I bear record [martyria] of myself, yet my record [martyria] is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and wither I go." (John 8:14) Martyria means "bear witness" (NAS) or "testify" (NIV, NRSV), the same word used in the contradictory John 5:31 (below). "If I bear witness of myself, it is not true." --"If I bear witness [martyria] of myself, my witness [martyria] is not true." (John 5:31) Martyria means "bear witness" (NAS) or "testify" (NIV, NRSV), the same word used in the contradictory John 8:14 (above). Needless to say, Jesus was not very reliable, nor was he very clear. 36. What personal sacrifice for "the kingdom of heaven" was Jesus talking about when he told his disciples, "He that is able to receive it, let him receive it"?Answer: D
Leave your family. <--Wrong answer. --Yes, Jesus did encourage followers to leave their families (Mark 10:29-30), but not using that phrase. Pluck out your eyes. --Yes, Jesus did talk gruesomely about plucking out eyes and cutting off hands (Matthew 5:29), but not using that phrase. Become poor. --Yes, Jesus did encourage poverty (see Question 31), but not using that phrase. Castrate yourself. --No wonder we don't hear sermons from the entire New Testament--how many preachers actually take this ghastly advice seriously?! Although some have prudently tried to interpret this as celibacy rather than castration, the early church father Origen read it literally and took a knife to himself. There were entire monastic orders, and church choirs in need of sopranos known as "castrati" based on this teaching of Jesus. Literal or not, the face value of this verse is physical mutilation: "But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs from the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." (Matthew 19:11-12) The Scholar's Version has: "There are castrated men who castrated themselves because of Heaven's imperial rule. If you are able to accept this (advice), do so." Tragically, every year there are reported cases of Christian followers mutilating themselves because "the bible tells me so." 37. According to New Testament medical advice, what should you do if you are sick?Answer: B
Seek medical help from doctors ordained by God. <--Wrong answer. Ask the church elders to apply oil to your skin and pray for you. --Verses like these have resulted in the needless deaths of adults and criminal-neglect deaths of children from treatable illnesses that were left untreated because of prayer. Why couldn't the biblical deity have dispensed some useful medical advice to the human race instead of placebo prescriptions for prayer? "Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up." (James 5:14-15) Ask Jesus or the elders to exorcise the evil spirits from your body. Kneel down before a brass serpent wrapped around a pole. --The Old Testament contains this absurd alternative medicine remedy for snake bite: "And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived." (Numbers 21:9) 38. What does Paul prohibit a woman from wearing in church?Answer: B
A hat, or any head covering. <--Wrong answer. --(See Question 9) Gold. --How many Christian women know they are breaking God's law by wearing gold wedding rings to church? Or pearls or braids or expensive clothing? This is all part of the biblical plan to keep women in their place (see Question 39). "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shame-facedness and sobriety; not with broided [braided] hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." (I Timothy 2:9) Paul was not simply giving his own personal advice here; he introduced these verses with: "Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity." (I Timothy 2:7) Necklaces, bracelets or anklets. Men's clothing. --The Old Testament indeed prohibits cross dressing: "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all who do so are an abomination unto the Lord thy God." (Deuteronomy 22:5) Are women's pantsuits and men's earrings an abomination? 39. According to Paul, what is the role of women in the church?Answer: C
Women are equal to men in all respects. <--Wrong answer. Women do the praying, singing and testifying, while men handle the preaching and finances. Women must keep silent. They should learn from their husbands at home. --This sexist admonition continues to be invoked by Catholics and patriarchal Protestant denominations to turn women into second-class citizens. "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (I Corinthians 14:34-35) "I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (I Corinthians 11:3) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18) "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence." (I Timothy 2:11-15) For more on this topic, see Woe To The Women: The Bible Tells Me So at the end of this quiz. For a word analysis showing that Paul indeed commands women to be in "subjection" to men, see "The Rising of the Women" at the end of this quiz. Women are not allowed in church except on high holidays. 40. What does Paul say about marriage?Answer: A
"I wish everyone were single like me." --As author Ruth Green put it, the "Christian family" is a "Christian fantasy." Paul's belief that "it is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1) led to the doctrine of celibacy and other warped teachings on sexuality. Nineteenth-century feminist author Matilda Joslyn Gage pointed out that this teaching directly led to such woman-hating abuses as the witch-hunts.
"For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I." (I Corinthians 7:7-8)
"Celibacy is a pagan practice."
"Elders and deacons may have more than one wife." --Paul seemed to acknowledge that some Christian men below the rank of Bishop or Elder had more than one wife: "A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife." (I Timothy 3:2) "Ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee: If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children." (Titus 1:5-6) But he did not prohibit or permit polygamy.
"If your feelings are only sexual, then don't get married." --On the contrary! According to Paul, if you can't contain your sexual urges, you are better off getting married: "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." (I Corinthians 7:8-9) Is this what parents should teach their children?
41. Paul forbids divorce, but Jesus allows it under one circumstance. What is that circumstance?Answer: B
If the husband has sex outside of marriage. <--Wrong answer. If the wife has sex outside of marriage. --Sexism illustrated: in Christianity, only a male can divorce a cheating spouse. "It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:31-32) Not only did Jesus contradict Paul (I Corinthians 7:10), he admittedly contradicted the Mosaic law (Deuteronomy 24:1), which allowed divorce on much broader grounds. If either has sex outside of marriage. If the wife fails to produce a son. 42. What group of people will make it into the heavenly choir?Answer: D
Those who are "poor in spirit." <--Wrong answer. Those who confess their sins and accept Jesus as their savior. God's chosen people, the Jews. 144,000 male virgins who have not been defiled with women. --No women allowed! Notice the sexism: women "defile" men. "And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father's name written in their foreheads. . . . And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb withersoever he goeth." (Revelation 14:1-4) No Christians allowed! These singers are made up of 12,000 from each of the 12 tribes of Israel (Revelation 7:4-8). 43. Which one of these words is in the bible?Answer: B
Trinity. <--Wrong answer. --Although the word "trinity" is used by most Christian groups, it appears nowhere in the bible, and the concept is difficult to support biblically. It was first used by Christians more than a century after the birth of Christianity, probably by Tertullian (145-220). The current doctrine of "one God in three persons" is not found in the bible, although some think they find it in verses where the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are mentioned together. (See II Corinthians 13:14). Liberal. --In the King James version of the bible, "liberal" is a good word. The word "conservative" appears nowhere in the bible. "The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself." (Proverbs 11:25) "The vile person shall be no more called liberal, nor the churl said to be bountiful." (Isaiah 32:5) "But the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand." (Isaiah 32:8) "Whiles by the experiment of this ministration they glorify God for your professed subjection unto the gospel of Christ, and for your liberal distribution unto them, and unto all men . . . Thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift." (II Corinthians 9:13-15) Christmas. Rapture. --"Rapture" is a term used by some Christians to refer to what will happen to believers when they are "caught up" to heaven: "The dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord." (I Thessalonians 4:16-17. See also I Corinthians 15:52.) The word "rapture" does not appear in bible. Notice also the primitive flat-earth cosmology: heaven is "up in the clouds." 44. Where does the bible say that all men are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights?Answer: D
The laws of Moses. <--Wrong answer. Jesus's Sermon on the Mount. The Book of Revelation. Nowhere. --Nowhere in the bible will you find an acknowledgement that human beings have inherent rights to life, liberty, happiness, dignity, fairness, or self-government. In the bible, humans are sinners, worms, and slaves--God has all the rights. "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 14:12) "Lean not unto thine own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5) "Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (II Corinthians 10:5) "Captivity" is not freedom. The U.S. Declaration of Independence is a humanistic, anti-biblical document. 45. Should Christians allow nonbelievers into their homes?Answer: No
Yes. <--Wrong answer. No. --Acting inhospitably is the Christian thing to do. Notice how this verse unfairly equates unbelief and diversity with evil: "If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds." (II John 10-11) 46. Should Christian men kiss each other?Answer: Yes
Yes. --Why do we not see men kissing in church, then? "Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss." (I Thessalonians 5:26. See also Romans 16:16; I Corinthians 16:20; II Corinthians 13:12; I Peter 5:14)
No.
47. Should Christians always give what they have to anyone who asks for it?Answer: Yes
Yes. --In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: "Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again." (Luke 6:30, repeated in Matthew 5:42) Try asking Christians for their houses and possessions, and see how faithful they are to the teachings of Jesus. Borrow a Christian's car and see if they ever ask for it back. Modern believers know that Jesus was wrong and the bible is not to be taken literally.
No.
48. Do the Ten Commandments prohibit incest or rape?Answer: No
Yes. <--Wrong answer. No. --The "ten commandments" (see Question 1) do not condemn any sexual acts. The only sexual practice prohibited by the list in Exodus 20 is adultery, which, although a valid marital concern, is a legal act between consenting adults. The violent and degrading crimes of rape and incest surely should have rated a "top ten" list, but they do not appear. Adultery in the Old Testament was considered a crime that could only be committed by a wife. Harper's Bible Dictionary explains: "The law was probably intended to ensure that any child born to the wife was really the husband's child, since it was considered crucial for the husband to have offspring, so that the family name could be perpetuated." Adultery had bearing on the patriarchy, while more violent crimes did not. 49. If you lose a lawsuit, should you pay exactly what the court decides?Answer: No
Yes. <--Wrong answer. No. --You should pay twice as much! In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus commands: "And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain." (Matthew 5:40-41) Are bible-believing Christians really paying double court-ordered child support? Or are they wiser than Jesus? 50. Can Christians ask their boss for a raise?Answer: No
Yes. <--Wrong answer. No. --It is unChristian to ask for a raise: "And [John the Baptist] said unto them, Exact no more than that which is appointed you. And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? and he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages." (Luke 3:13-14) Modern Christians who love their families know better than this: it is not responsible to deny yourself a fair market wage, especially if you have children to support. Real family values transcend the bible. [John the Baptist was "preparing the way" for Jesus when he supposedly spoke these words.] Hitting "Submit" below will provide you with links to resources mentioned above, including Ruth Green's Born Again Skeptic's Guide To The Bible, Annie Laurie Gaylor's Woe To The Women: The Bible Tells Me So and other freethought works. Would you like a free issue of Freethought Today? Yes. I am sympathetic to the skeptical view on religion and the bible.Send me a sample issue of Freethought Today, which covers news onfreethought and state/church separation, plus information on how to jointhe Freedom From Religion Foundation. (Sample issue limited to US addresses only. See below.) I already receive Freethought Today, but I would like you to know I took the test. Name: Street Address: City: State: (Please use abbreviation: CA, NY, etc.) Zipcode: Email: Comments? Confidentiality Note: Foundation bylaws prohibit us from selling, renting, or revealing the names and addresses of members or subscribers on our mailing list in any manner to any person. Outside the US: If you do not live in the US and would like a sample issue of Freethought Today, hit SUBMIT, then see instructions. Freedom From Religion Foundation • PO Box 750 • Madison, WI 53701 • (608) 256-8900 • contact us © Freedom From Religion Foundation.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

slithery, sly & SLIMY


This post belongs in the RGT “Know Thine Enemy” series. It deals with the sly and slithery creature who penned the fifteen Left Behind books: Master Tim LeHaye.

I’m interested in Mr. Tim’s series partly because my sister has been snarfed up and strangled by them, and partly because my society is being polluted and strangled by the sick and slick slyness (try saying that three times in a hurry) they’ve come from. The Left Behind novels describe christians being “Raptured” up to heaven, while the rest of us are “Left Behind” to burn in hell.

"Tim LaHaye, the architect of the Left Behind series … has been one of the most influential activists of the Religious Right for the past three decades. LaHaye has been extremely successful in breaking down American conceptions about the barriers between Church and State, and in bringing churches across the country into political alliance with the Republican Party. LaHaye has been among the leading activists in building coalitions between what has become the socially conservative Religious Right and politically conservative business-minded, free-market Republicans. He has been one of the leading advocates of moving creationism and intelligent design into the public debate….

"Besides this, LaHaye has been influential in defining how his fellow travelers see feminists, homosexuals, and forging the path toward the popularity of painting a stereotypical representation of what 'liberal' means. All of this has been aided by blending these messages with right-wing conspiracy narratives and theories developed in the 1950s through groups like the John Birch Society, which themselves tap further back into such anti-Semitic conspiracy theories as the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. His is an all-out war against what he sees as the secular path towards damnation, not necessarily for individuals, but for American society as a whole

SNIP

"The fact that the Left Behind books are branded as 'Christian' is also problematic…. These books, after all, are extremely violent…. Not only does the 'Antichrist' [character] in the books personify 'Evil' and wreak bloody havoc on humanity…, the militant 'Christ,' himself … is equal to the 'Antichrist' in the amount of destruction he brings upon the earth….”

From Michael Standaert, “The Novel: Left Behind,” at nthposition.com

All of which fits like a piece in a jigsaw puzzle with a basic RGT premise: Christianity is not a religion, it’s a bloody, violent war machine.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

ANCIENT Goddesses

Words from Yale thealogian Carol Christ:

"At first the ancient images of the Goddess did not interest me. Athena was warlike and stated that she always sided with men. Aphrodite was a sex object, and so on. After much diligent research, aided by other women, I gradually came to understand that beneath the familiar Goddesses of the patriarchy, there is a much more ancient Goddess. The Goddess of Old Europe and Ancient Crete represented the unity of life in nature, delight in the diversity of form, the powers of birth, death and regeneration. In Goddess religion death is not feared, but is understood to be a part of life, followed by birth and renewal. We are not to 'lord' over nature and other creatures. Rather we are all interconnected in the web of life." MORE>>>


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thnx to stroinski for the foto of an ancient symbol of the ancient Goddess, the hedgehog

Friday, August 25, 2006

I Can't Stop EATING

Here’s a treat: my theory on where ALL bad things come from -- and how to pitch them all out on their patooties:

Before 4000 BC, your ancestors worshipped Goddesses. Then a large part of Africa, the Middle East and Asia shriveled up into desertland. We’ll call this “Saharasia.” Saharasians starved. Starving people lose interest in all pleasures but eating. For a meal, they’ll murder their own parents and children, even. This has been documented.

Although most Saharasians starved to death, some survived and started Starvation Culture, in which people behave like starving people – even if they’re billionaires. If you live in one of the big countries like America, China, or Germany, you live in the "Starvation Culture.”

Today, everything bad is born outa Starvation Culture: overeating, war, the trashed environment, gods, downtrodden women, overpopulation:

OVEREATING

We Starvation-Culture peoples are scared stiff of starving to death. But our jitters are all on a subconscious level. Consciously, we can’t understand FOR THE LIFE OF US why we can’t stop eating! Although we say we like sex, secretly we’re scared of it; eating is the only thing that truly rings our bells.

WAR

Starvation Peoples cannot understand why they’re always at war. The answer is simple: since they’re subconsciously afraid of starving to death, they’re driven, at all times, to take everything -- from everyone else.

ENVIRONMENTAL DEGRADATION

Deep down, Starvation Peoples remember when Mother Earth ‘abandoned’ them and made them starve. Because they haven’t forgiven Earth, SC Peoples can’t make themselves stop trashing Her. They’re like little baby birds who can’t stop junking the nest, which is threatening to break open and pitch the whole lot of them down on the ground, where all the tabby cats prowl, fattening on little birdlets.

GODS

Starvation Peoples worship gods. “Mother Earth is bad!” shriek their subconscious minds, “The gods will have to do!”

TROMPING on WOMEN

And if Mother Earth is bad, then human mothers are bad. From there it’s a short skip and a jump to “all women are bad.”

OVERPOPULATION

Starvation Peoples multiply like rabbits (mostly for a constant supply of warriors). Since 4000 BC, they have slowly killed off most Peaceful Peoples. Increasingly, the world is made up of psychotic Starvation Peoples.

Athana's Recipe for ELIMINATING ALL BAD THINGS: Pitch Starvation Culture out on its patootie. And since the gods are the gas that's driving the machine, here, we need to start with pitching the gods.
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thnx to pliene for the pic

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Busy HATCHING


If you haven't heard it yet, go HERE to listen to the best song ever about America's Rapture-Rightie Leader-O, Mr. Dubya. Title: The Decider. Sample lines:

"Sitting in the White house garden talking to the Lord;
My thoughts would be busy busy hatching If I only had a brain...."

"Sitting on my own brain, waiting for the end of days...."

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

I DON’T Understand A WORD YOU SAY


Yesterday, a lovely reader wrote: “I don't understand a word [on] your site. Please make it clearer so that we who are merely visiting can understand.”

Athana, thinking hard to herself: “Hmmm [chewing pencil eraser]. How to make things clearer. Hm. [more chewing of pencil eraser; then, finally:]

“Haw-kay! [lightbulb going off] Here it is in a NUTSHELL”:

“Six thousand years ago, everyone worshiped Goddesses and things were good. Then gods came. Things got bad. They have stayed bad for 6000 years.

"What do you think? Should we keep the ghastly gods? Or call back the Good Goddesses?”

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thnx to badboo for the foto

Monday, August 21, 2006

GETTING YOUR Joy ON


Now here’s a blog to light your fire: God Is a Joke. The blogger thinks the christian bible was written by peaceful pagan women – as satire. A sample of her (sometimes irreverent) work:

"What the Bible tells us is that if you stick with God you do not need The Home Shopping Network to get your joy on. You just rob your neighbor (Numbers 31:12). Rob your neighbor and give God his share of the profit at your local church or synagogue (Numbers 31:41, 54). When you rob your neighbor do not make the mistake of leaving alive the husband ((Numbers 31:7) … wife or boy children for your enslavement and sex games (Numbers 31:17). That is what the virgin girl children are for (Numbers 31:35; Deuteronomy 21:10-13)....

"Talk about spoiled. I just love that as God’s own I can get everything I want. All I have to do is kill and steal for it and tithe a respectable portion. He is the boss. I do what he says. He takes a cut of the booty. I get paid in stolen wages….

In the edifying words of King Jehosophat, all you have to do is “believe in the Lord your God, so you shall be established; believe his prophets, so you shall prosper” (2 Chronicles 20:20). All you have to do to reap the Lord’s bountiful booty is believe and sing. [So] If the Exalted Daughters will come now to the front of Grove and lead us, we will sing as we are instructed and wait on the Lord to spoil us in the manner to which we are entitled....

"What we are expecting is a sudden falling down of dead bodies covered in riches and precious jewels for the stripping (2 Chronicles 2:25). … We must not be singing loud enough. With your voices now, shout your praises. … Here. Everyone get an instrument. It does not matter if you cannot play well; just make a joyful noise to the Lord. Someone should be getting a vision of candy we can take from babies, or at least the location of a park with piss-in-their-pants drunks we can roll. Does anyone have a revelation of at least a morgue we can move in on, or a Veterans’ hospital we can hit?...."

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Praying FOR PEACE


My old friend Kathy sent me this joke about YAJ (the god Yahweh-Allah-Jehovah. You might think YAJ is three different gods. You'd be wrong; see earlier posts, this blog).

If nothing else, this joke exposes the underbelly of YAJ's schizoid and warlike characteristics. Poor YAJ -- when he can't find anyone else to fight with, he fights with himself:

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out.

She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion. She approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you
been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews, and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a damn wall."

Saturday, August 12, 2006

CINDERELLA: MEDIEVAL Prophecy

I just love this picture, don’t you? It’s Cinderella’s Fairy God Mother zapping a pumpkin so Cinderella could ride to the ball in a coach. A major example of Mother-Giving, I'd say (see previous post, this blog). Cinderella needed a way to win the Prince, so her “Fairy God Mother” (really the God-dess Mother, or Great Mother Goddess in disguise) gave her all the gifts she needed – coach, horses, finery, gorgeous hairdo, fab slippers.

When the primitive war god Yaj (Yahweh-Allah-Jehovah) took over Europe, the Great Mother – like any sane Goddess -- went underground to wait for better times. She hasn’t abandoned us – She’s just taking a major siesta until we come to our senses again.

You think I joke? Here’s Barbara Walker on the subject:

The fairy tale of the cinder-maid originated as an anti-ecclesiastical allegory repeated by real “fairies” – that is, pagans. Ella was Hel, or Helle, daughter of Mother Earth, the Goddess with her regenerative fires reduced to cinders. Her ugly stepmother was the new church. Her ugly stepsisters were the church’s darlings, the military aristocracy and the clergy.

“An early German version of the story said Cinderella’s real mother, the Earth, though dead, sent from her grave a fairy tree in answer to her daughter’s prayer. This tree produced golden apples, fine clothes, and other gifts. Thus the ‘fairy godmother’ of later versions seems to have been a ghost of the mother, the dispossessed Great Goddess in retirement underground.

Beautiful with her new riches, Cinderella won the ‘prince’ (humankind), ever easily impressed by the display of finery….

“Like other secret medieval prophecies of the overthrow of the rich, powerful theocracy, the downfall of Cinderella’s ugly stepmother and stepsisters may have been intended as a prophecy” (Walker, Barbara, 1996, Women’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, p. 168).

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

AUNTIE A. ON THE Gift ECONOMY

ATHANA: “Virginia, did you know that human societies used to be based on ‘Mother-Giving’ instead of money? You have X -- someone needs X -- you hand over X immediately. No questions asked, no strings attached.”

VIRGINIA: “Get out, Auntie Athana!”

ATHANA: “No, Viginia, It's true. The outcome was, everybody had enough, everybody happy, no crime, no violence, no murder.”

VIRGINIA: “But Auntie A., how would you get people to give away their stuff? We’re just naturally selfish!”

ATHANA: “Turns out we’re not naturally selfish, Ginnie. It’s only us patriarchals who are selfish. And even with us, it’s not natural – we have to be brainwashed into it by what you could call our ‘culture map’.”

VIRGINIA “Well, now I’m totally lost.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “It’s simple. Human mothers are natural Mother-Givers. When a newborn is hungry, does a mother say, 'OK, kid, fork over the dough and I’ll feed ya.'?"

VIRGINIA “No.... She just gives the food.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Exactly. And without our patriarchal culture interfering, we’d all learn to behave just like Mom. We’d all be Mother-Givers. You need it, I have it, it’s yours.”

VIRGINIA [Snorts] “Boys wouldn’t be Mother-Givers.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Sure they would. If their moms taught them to be Mother-Givers, they’d be Mother-Givers.”

VIRGINIA “But moms wouldn’t teach boys to be Mother-Givers.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Why not?”

VIRGINIA “I dunno.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Hm. Maybe it’s because moms have been brainwashed too. Brainwashed moms don’t think their sons should be nurturers.”

VIRGINIA: “Or Mother-Givers. Not ‘manly’ enough.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: [slamming her sun hat onto the deck railing] “Well, I say bull-pickles to that!”

VIRGINIA: (giggling) “Bull-pickles?”

AUNTIE ATHANA: [Replacing her hat on her head] “Yeah. It’s my new stab at fresh profanity. The old stuff’s wearing out, doesn’t pack a punch anymore. Whaddya think of ‘cess puddle’? That’s what I called my ex-boss today on the way to getting my car oil changed.”

VIRGINIA “Hmmmm.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Anyway, back to Mother-Giving. Turns out there’s a lot of Mother-Giving going on -- even in patriarchal societies.”

VIRGINIA “Yeah?”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Yeah. But it’s mostly women (and a few of our brighter men) who are doing it. But it’s threatening to the patriarchal money economy, so it (the giving) gets swept under the rug.”

VIRGINIA “So giving is going on, but we don’t really see it?”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “You got it. Bloggers are a great example, actually. Typically, bloggers don't get any material rewards for their slogging at blogging. Their efforts are unpaid gifts to readers. Also, didja know that in a money economy ya hafta have scarcity, or the money economy won’t work? If stuff isn’t scarce, then scarcity is created.”

VIRGINIA “No way!”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Way.”

VIRGINIA “Who says?”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Go get a copy of Genevieve Vaughn’s book For-Giving. Or, you can read it online. I’ve been reading it all day.”

VIRGINIA “Oh, so that’s why you’re so excited about Mother-Giving.”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “Actually, 'Mother-Giving' is what Genevieve calls it. It’s usually called ‘the gift economy’.”

VIRGINIA: “So if I wanted to Google more about it, my search words would be …”

AUNTIE ATHANA: “’Gift economy’.”

VIRGINIA: “Bye, Auntie. A-Googling I will go, for ‘gift e-con-o-mo’….”

AUNTIE A: “Oh, quit it!"

VIRGINIA: (giggling again) "Alright, if you insist."

AUNTIE A: "If you're not going to read For-Giving, at least go to some good online articles."

VIRGINIA: "'Kay. Like what?"

AUNTIE A: "Like 'Creating a Giving Culture: An Interview with Bernard Lietaer'. Also, Dave Pollard's blog, "How to Save the World" has a fairly good posting on the gift economy. Or, Genevieve has a short article online called "Why We Need the Gift Economy."

VIRGINIA: [Bussing Auntie A. on the cheek] "You're a gift to me, Auntie A."

ATHANA: "Aw, shucks, Virginia! Likewise, I do declare!"

Monday, August 07, 2006

DANGEROUS Hugs

Feminist scholars have spent decades trying to prove no differences exist between women and men. I guess they think if women are different, it can only be in inferior ways. Although I agree with most everything else feminist scholars say, I think this is a buncha hooey!

A few neurological differences between women and men -- from Louann Brizendine's The Female Brain:
"Women use 20,000 words per day; men use 7,000 per day.

"Women excel at knowing what people are feeling; men have difficulty spotting an emotion unless someone cries or threatens bodily harm.

"Thoughts about sex enter women's brains once every couple of days; for men, thoughts about sex occur every minute."

And, here's an interesting bit of news:

"Connecting through talking activates the pleasure centers in a girl's brain. We're not talking about a small amount of pleasure. This is huge. It's a major dopamine and oxytocin rush, which is the biggest, fattest neurological reward you can get outside of an orgasm."

And yo! Women! Watch out how you hand out those hugs!

"Research shows that the female brain naturally releases oxytocin after a 20-second hug. The embrace bonds the huggers and triggers the brain's trust circuits. So Brizendine advises, don't let a guy hug you unless you plan to trust him.

"'And if you do,' she said, "make sure it lasts 20 seconds.'" MORE >>>
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Thnx to irenek for the foto

Thursday, August 03, 2006

R U Rapture Ready?


Got this from Echidne of the Snakes:

Echidne: "If you are [Rapture Ready], you can go and read the website with the same name (“R U Rapture Ready”). It's a place where happy Christian weirdos get together to congratulate each other for being among the select few when the rest of the earth burns…."

Then a reader says: "Echidne: Why is it every time you mention Christianity in one of your posts you choose to quote the most extreme fringes of my faith? … [T]hese people do NOT represent Christianity….”

To which I say: Lovely reader, all Christians are an "extreme fringe." All of you carry around, kiss and worship the same rule book. The one that orders you to stone to death a raped woman. The one that counsels mass murder of any group kicking up a fuss about bowing and scraping to your wargod jehovah. The one that orders you to mass murder gays. The one that tells you to stone to death those happy folk who don't show up at church Sundays. [Let me know if u need bible verses for any of these; I'll be more than happy to share them with u.]

CALLING ALL Suckers

Anti-thesisofreason visited today (Radical Goddess Thealogy: MEL GIBSON Blasts OFF ON JEWS) and said he thinks Yaj* is irritable because he has no visiting rights with women.

I agree. I think Yaj is depressed. He doesn't give a fig if he gets called up by the draft. Or becomes a suicide bomber.

But then again -- like I always say -- the Yahweh, Allah and Jehovah (Yaj) religions aren't really religions. They're sucker systems to sucker you into fighting wars for the rich. Why? So the rich can supplement their riches without dirtying their hands.

So Yaj-ites – please! I love you! Drop that sucker system you’ve been sucked into!! The rich know if they make you men into christians or muslims you’ll jail your women, thus stomping all over women's power for good. Then your women get so mad they won’t speak to you. So you get depressed and only want to fight, kill and die -- which is exactly what your masters (The Rich) want you to do.

I have to say, though, I prefer Jehovah Land to Allah Land. (But maybe only because I’m used to it -- I don’t know.) That’s why I also say we must have MULTILATERAL DISARMAMENT of the war-god religions. They all have to go together. One, two, three, together now: out with Yahweh, Allah & Jehovah!

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*For those of you just tuning in, "Yaj" is the god Yahweh-Allah-Jehovah; you might think Yahweh, Allah and Jehovah are three separate gods. If so, you'd be wrong. See Radical Goddess Thealogy: Introducing THE GLORIOUS Yaj!.

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thnx to seer for the foto of the sucker